Monday Big Words Update! ‘Shameless Promotional Whoring Pt.1’ (Week 17) on stands as well as RIGHT HERE!/St. Patrick’s Day at The Hidden Shamrock!/Acid Logic Update!

March 12, 2007

Okie Dokey! 

Due to the timeliness of this week’s column (and the fact that I need every single one of you to come out to Hidden Shamrock THIS SATURDAY from 6pm-12am for the ‘Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish’ book signing), I am going to do something I’ve never done: I’m including the column that came out in today’s issue of Night Life right here as well!  This is a first, and I would truly like the event’s success to be ensured.  Last week’s column, ‘Predators & Editors’ is up on Acid Logic, so if you haven’t read it, you can find it at:


It also looks like the new issue of Acid Logic is up online, so feel free to read my interview with world renowned comic genius Brian K. Vaughn (‘How To Ruin Swamp Thing’) in this month’s issue at:


I don’t want to weigh you down with too many plugs, so without further adieu, here’s the column.  Pretty please show up to the booksigning this Saturday at the Shamrock!  I’ll be your best friend!  Thanks,

Tom Waters

Shameless Promotional Whoring Pt.I

All right, Big Words fans, listen up! Hopefully I’ve grabbed your collective attention with this column over the last sixteen weeks and that there are more of you this week than there have ever been before. From talking to my beloved editor and publisher at Night Life, it sounds like this weekly sound off is starting to gather some steam, which is good, because I’m going to need it. My readers online and the free subscribers who get my bimonthly newsletter (which you can subscribe to as well by emailing the address below my fat black and white head) certainly haven’t hurt the progression of this thing, either. I haven’t asked you for any favors before (and I’m talking to YOU, palooka, the person reading this right NOW), but I’m going to be asking for a couple now, and in a few weeks time. So I’m going to be nice…so I’m going to be nice…and ask with a little bit of sugar instead of the open handed pimp slap I normally employ for the purposes of persuasion.

You may or may not know that I’ve got three published books (Born Pissed, Zany Hijinx, and First Person, Last Straw) that are already out. Feel free to go online or order them in bulk from your local bookstore. This is besides the point, though. Now that I’ve moved on from writing bar reviews for Night Life, I’ve got a book chock full of the last two years worth of bar reviews called Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish: A Cheap Degenerate’s Guide To Buffalo Bars. It’s uncut, uncensored, and it contains every review I wrote for Night Life for the last two years (and some of the more unfavorable reviews never ran in print). If you want, you can buy one online for thirteen bucks through my official Big Words web site (the web address right below my fat black and white head). OR (and this is a big or) you can meet me this Saturday at The Hidden Shamrock for St. Patrick’s Day! I’ll be hawking signed copies of the book for a cool ten bucks and tying one on in classic Irishman fashion, so meet me up for a couple of tall frosty ones!

If you’re unfamiliar with my bar reviews, they were not your run of the mill yawn fests about the décor, the wine list and the Guest. I didn’t follow a connect the dots formula aside from sticking to my guns from the get go that my reviews would cover the things that interested guys my age: how hot are the women and how cheap is the beer. Everything else fell into place. Most of the reviews chronicle how ridiculously loaded me and my friends got, what stupid things I did and if I remembered them, and who tried to pick a fight with me or who I tried to pick a fight with. There are over a hundred pages of that, the book has already sold over two hundred copies, and readers seem to be tremendously positive about the portable paperback. I had a lot of great times over the years writing bar and exotic club reviews for Night Life and now the home stretch of that era is wrapped into one fantastic literary package. If you buy two, I’ll give you a free melon baller at the Shamrock this Saturday.

I haven’t promoted any books for over a year, and the next two months are going to be ridiculous because I’m promoting Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish ONE TIME ONLY at THE HIDDEN SHAMROCK this Saturday from 6 pm to 12am and then two weeks later my new humor collection, If They Can’t Take A Joke will be launching in hardcover and paperback on April Fool’s Day. More on that the last week of this month, but for now, let’s focus solely on getting together and getting ripped out of our gourds at THE HIDDEN SHAMROCK this SATURDAY!

It means a lot to me that they agreed to do this at the Shamrock because, truth be told, it’s pretty close to home and I love Irish bars. They did a great job of remodeling the place, they’ve got hot women, cheap drinks, live music and everything else a cheap degenerate like myself could ask for. So why not join me? I’m not telling, I’m asking. Kindly. Let’s make this an event. Why in the hell would you want to drive downtown on a night like St. Patty’s for anyway? Meet me out in the suburbs, buy a book, buy some drinks, get some phone numbers, and have some fun! If this event goes well and everyone behaves, I promise I’ll throw a huge party when we reach Week 52 in the Big Words column. The likes of which Buffalo has never seen with live bands, stupid drink specials and lots of beautiful party people. Why not? I’ll see you guys this Saturday. I’m looking forward to it, and I’m strapping my drinking shoes on as we speak.

Packing a stomach pump,

Tom ’blarney’ Waters


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