Archive for March, 2007

h1

‘Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish’ Aftermath!

March 18, 2007

Jill, one of the best bartenders at 'The Rock'!

Jill balancing perhaps her fourth tray of green shots during St. Patrick’s Day at Hidden Shamrock.

     The Hidden Shamrock was a mob scene yesterday, and I don’t think we could’ve packed in any more people if we wanted to. Aside from my promotion for the book ‘Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish: A Cheap Degenerate’s Guide To Buffalo Bars’, they had traditional Irish folk dancing as well as five dollar pitchers of green beer (which they ran out of around eleven o’clock. There had to be at least two hundred and fifty people at the Shamrock yesterday, and since I committed to appearing there from six pm to twelve am on St. Patrick’s Day, I drank from….six pm until about eleven thirty. Ten years ago, I was a bit more spry when it came to marathon drinking, but yesterday, I did my best to pace myself, and sold a payload of books in the process. Michael Bly popped in and did some shots to show some support for the book (even though he had his own gig at Kodiak Jack’s in Elma) and fellow pal and author Alycia Ripley popped in towards the end to buy a copy of the book. It wasa rousing, drunken, foot stomping, whiskey swilling good time. Many thanks to Tom, Kevin, Jill, Kindra and everyone else at The Hidden Shamrock. We’ll have to do something again next year. It was good practice for the real book launch on April Fool’s Day with ‘If They Can’t Take A Joke’. If you missed yesterday, then you definitely don’t want to miss April Fool’s at Desiderio’s on Broadway! Seeya in two weeks,
Tom Waters

h1

If They Can’t Take A Joke NOW AVAILABLE in trade paperback! Order Now!

March 17, 2007

I just wanted to let you all know that the trade paperback version of If They Can’t Take A Joke is NOW AVAILABLE from my publisher’s web site at www.authorhouse.com !  You’re not going to hurt my feelings if you’d rather have the 272 page trade paperback over the dust jacket hardcover (as a matter of fact, I make more royalties on the trade paperback), so start your ordering!  I don’t care if you buy it from me in April (although my personal bank of books WILL BE LIMITED throughout the month), in bookstores (when they get them) or through the web site, but remember that if you’re ordering online, the new book is 2 dollars cheaper from the Authorhouse site over any of the other online book retailers.  So what are you waiting for?  Be the first on your block to own my fourth humor collection, now with 100% less poetry!  Here is the direct link for your book ordering pleasure:http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail~bookid~44407.aspx

Buy ten copies and I’ll wash your car!  Tell all your friends, tell your loved ones and tell your enemies by taping the address to a brick you throw through their window, but BUY NOW!!!  Don’t delay, order today! 

h1

Validation! Buffalo News Gusto Club Watch Review Today!

March 16, 2007

After six weeks (due to some editing concerns and a steady backlog of other reviews), my first bar review premiered in The Buffalo News Gusto today on Mazariello’s in Lancaster/Depew.  As I’ve said before, my bar reviews from this point on are the property of The Buffalo News, so I will be unable to reprint them anywhere (in books, on this site, anywhere), so spend the fifty cents and pick one up.  This is a huge milestone for me and I’m really happy to be taking assignments from the News on a regular basis moving forward.  It’s a dream to work for them as a Union staff writer at some point down the road, and this is one small step towards that goal.  After five years of writing bar reviews for Night Life, I’ve finally hit the big time and all this hard work is beginning to pay off.  Those of you who’ve been along for the ride since around 2000 will see this as no surprise, but for many Buffalo readers, this will be the first time they’ve ever read anything of mine.  This can only mean great things for the new book(s) as we approach the launch(es).  Oh, and don’t forget, I’ll be at the Hidden Shamrock TOMORROW from 6-12 selling and signing copies of Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish: A Cheap Degenerate’s Guide To Buffalo Bars!  Be there or be square, and if I seem standoffish, it’s only because I’m shy, so walk up, introduce yourself, buy a book and have a drink with me!

h1

Country 106.5 FM WYRK Appearance! Selling Out On A Whole ‘Nother Level/’If They Can’t Take A Joke’ Update!

March 14, 2007

     I’m ecstatic to announce that I’ll be going into the studio on Tuesday, April 17 at 8:20 a.m. to promote the launch of ‘If They Can’t Take A Joke’ on Buffalo’s best country station (not to mention the station with the MOST listeners in WNY), 106.5 FM!  This is a huge coup for me and the book and I’m a big fan of the station, so I am psyched to be walking on to their morning show with Clay and Dale during drive time radio listening!  You can’t get much better exposure than morning drive time, so I’m pleased as punch.  I am also trying to button up a few other appearances, but I don’t want to announce the other ones until they’re confirmed.  In addition, I’ll be appearing with Kahle & Company on April 11th at 12:30 on 1340 AM as well as the Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal podcast sometime during the first week of April.  Don’t think I haven’t been working on some other FM appearances, though, because there are things in the works…

     As for ‘If They Can’t Take A Joke’, the manuscript is finished, the cover has been signed off on and Fed Ex is racing a copy of the trade paperback and the hardcover for my final approval as we speak.  Once I sign off on the book, you can start pre-ordering the book, which (again) is priced at $18 for the trade and $25 for the book and $20 and $27 through Amazon, respectively.  More on everything as we get closer, but I don’t see why pre-orders wouldn’t be available by Monday. 

Oh, and before I forget, I was given 80% assurance that the Gusto bar review on Mazariello’s would be in this Friday, so keep your eyes peeled this Friday for the first (but not the last) bar review in the Buffalo News!

h1

Monday Big Words Update! ‘Shameless Promotional Whoring Pt.1’ (Week 17) on stands as well as RIGHT HERE!/St. Patrick’s Day at The Hidden Shamrock!/Acid Logic Update!

March 12, 2007

Okie Dokey! 

Due to the timeliness of this week’s column (and the fact that I need every single one of you to come out to Hidden Shamrock THIS SATURDAY from 6pm-12am for the ‘Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish’ book signing), I am going to do something I’ve never done: I’m including the column that came out in today’s issue of Night Life right here as well!  This is a first, and I would truly like the event’s success to be ensured.  Last week’s column, ‘Predators & Editors’ is up on Acid Logic, so if you haven’t read it, you can find it at:

http://www.acidlogic.com/myspace.htm

It also looks like the new issue of Acid Logic is up online, so feel free to read my interview with world renowned comic genius Brian K. Vaughn (‘How To Ruin Swamp Thing’) in this month’s issue at:

http://www.acidlogic.com/brian_vaughn.htm

I don’t want to weigh you down with too many plugs, so without further adieu, here’s the column.  Pretty please show up to the booksigning this Saturday at the Shamrock!  I’ll be your best friend!  Thanks,

Tom Waters

Shameless Promotional Whoring Pt.I

All right, Big Words fans, listen up! Hopefully I’ve grabbed your collective attention with this column over the last sixteen weeks and that there are more of you this week than there have ever been before. From talking to my beloved editor and publisher at Night Life, it sounds like this weekly sound off is starting to gather some steam, which is good, because I’m going to need it. My readers online and the free subscribers who get my bimonthly newsletter (which you can subscribe to as well by emailing the address below my fat black and white head) certainly haven’t hurt the progression of this thing, either. I haven’t asked you for any favors before (and I’m talking to YOU, palooka, the person reading this right NOW), but I’m going to be asking for a couple now, and in a few weeks time. So I’m going to be nice…so I’m going to be nice…and ask with a little bit of sugar instead of the open handed pimp slap I normally employ for the purposes of persuasion.

You may or may not know that I’ve got three published books (Born Pissed, Zany Hijinx, and First Person, Last Straw) that are already out. Feel free to go online or order them in bulk from your local bookstore. This is besides the point, though. Now that I’ve moved on from writing bar reviews for Night Life, I’ve got a book chock full of the last two years worth of bar reviews called Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish: A Cheap Degenerate’s Guide To Buffalo Bars. It’s uncut, uncensored, and it contains every review I wrote for Night Life for the last two years (and some of the more unfavorable reviews never ran in print). If you want, you can buy one online for thirteen bucks through my official Big Words web site (the web address right below my fat black and white head). OR (and this is a big or) you can meet me this Saturday at The Hidden Shamrock for St. Patrick’s Day! I’ll be hawking signed copies of the book for a cool ten bucks and tying one on in classic Irishman fashion, so meet me up for a couple of tall frosty ones!

If you’re unfamiliar with my bar reviews, they were not your run of the mill yawn fests about the décor, the wine list and the Guest. I didn’t follow a connect the dots formula aside from sticking to my guns from the get go that my reviews would cover the things that interested guys my age: how hot are the women and how cheap is the beer. Everything else fell into place. Most of the reviews chronicle how ridiculously loaded me and my friends got, what stupid things I did and if I remembered them, and who tried to pick a fight with me or who I tried to pick a fight with. There are over a hundred pages of that, the book has already sold over two hundred copies, and readers seem to be tremendously positive about the portable paperback. I had a lot of great times over the years writing bar and exotic club reviews for Night Life and now the home stretch of that era is wrapped into one fantastic literary package. If you buy two, I’ll give you a free melon baller at the Shamrock this Saturday.

I haven’t promoted any books for over a year, and the next two months are going to be ridiculous because I’m promoting Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish ONE TIME ONLY at THE HIDDEN SHAMROCK this Saturday from 6 pm to 12am and then two weeks later my new humor collection, If They Can’t Take A Joke will be launching in hardcover and paperback on April Fool’s Day. More on that the last week of this month, but for now, let’s focus solely on getting together and getting ripped out of our gourds at THE HIDDEN SHAMROCK this SATURDAY!

It means a lot to me that they agreed to do this at the Shamrock because, truth be told, it’s pretty close to home and I love Irish bars. They did a great job of remodeling the place, they’ve got hot women, cheap drinks, live music and everything else a cheap degenerate like myself could ask for. So why not join me? I’m not telling, I’m asking. Kindly. Let’s make this an event. Why in the hell would you want to drive downtown on a night like St. Patty’s for anyway? Meet me out in the suburbs, buy a book, buy some drinks, get some phone numbers, and have some fun! If this event goes well and everyone behaves, I promise I’ll throw a huge party when we reach Week 52 in the Big Words column. The likes of which Buffalo has never seen with live bands, stupid drink specials and lots of beautiful party people. Why not? I’ll see you guys this Saturday. I’m looking forward to it, and I’m strapping my drinking shoes on as we speak.

Packing a stomach pump,

Tom ’blarney’ Waters

h1

The Puma Swede Directive

March 10, 2007

011.jpg 

Yesterday, I happened to set up an interview with six foot blond bombshell and adult film star Puma Swede.  It was more by luck than hard work and determination, but it looks like I’ll be speaking with the blue eyed European some time next week after she’s done with her show at Pharoah’s in Buffalo.  I went out with some of the boys last night to see her act and I have to say, I was impressed.  Just when I think I’ve seen it all, the three minute mile is beaten.  She signed my photo out to ‘Todd’, so we’ll have to work on that.  I’m horrible with names, too.  Most of you know that I’m no stranger to adult film stars and Puma easily makes my Top Five of all time somewhere among Christy Canyon, Jenna Jamison, Jill Kelly and Niki Blonde.  It’s going to be an honor and a pleasure to speak with the young upstart regarding her films and her personal life.  Look for the interview some time in the future in Acid Logic as well as Night Life magazine…

h1

‘Prometheus Packs A Zippo’ from Crass Menagerie

March 9, 2007

I’m three weeks away from my fourth book, and here I am giving away an exercise that won’t be published until my sixth.  What other writer in Buffalo is willing to give away so much free material and still leave the best for their books, I ask you?  None of them!  As I promised to my email newsletter subscribers (which you can become a member of by subscribing for free by emailing bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com ), here is a second essay for our bimonthly edition.  If you’re not on the list, then you missed the first one.  In the immortal words of Denis Leary, ‘Life sucks, get a helmet.’  Seriously, though, sign up for the newsletter.  It will change your life and give you a full head of hair.  Here’s the new essay regardless:

Prometheus Packs A Zippo

It seems like every time I embark on the eve of a new book promotion, I have a sad tale of loss and woe that’s unflinchingly honest and inspirational enough to propel me to new heights and accomplishments. Well, I don’t have one this time. It appears as if most of my bad luck is out of my system and I’m joining the travelers on the good karma lollipop this time. Some readers love to read about how I got the shit kicked out of me, how I kicked the shit out of myself, or how I finished a chapter in my life kicking myself in the ass for my own foolishness. Not this time. In a month, I’ll be hitting the front line to promote not one, but two books. One is a trifle that I cobbled together over the course of a weekend full of bar reviews. It’s called Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish, and it’s a little portable reader about Buffalo Bars chronicling my last five years of writing off-the-wall bar reviews. The other is my fourth humor collection, and a quantum leap in style for me as well as a departure of other sorts. That one’s called If They Can’t Take A Joke, and for better or worse, the body of work asserted itself as a book about relationships. I’m in the best possible starting position for this promotion, better than I’ve ever been in terms of contacts, publicity and bookings. I don’t have much of a story about being down and out but I’m sure I can give you something. Real life doesn’t always have a definitive character arc or a story progression. Here’s mine for the last year.

I finished schilling First Person, Last Straw (my third published book and my fourth book altogether) some time in the middle of November due to demands at work and all around exhaustion from touring the Buffalo area. Somehow I landed the book in Media Play, a national superstore that carries books, movies and music, and I appeared at all five or six locations in the county. The two or three months that I toured with the book and did standup appearances went pretty well, all in all. I launched the book at Desiderio’s (a local restaurant/night club) to a pretty good crowd, landed some radio interviews, showed up at a local book fair sponsored by The Buffalo News and drove to a locally owned bookstore to read for awhile to a crowd of three people. I’ve known other people who inflate their attendance numbers and make complicated lies about how they did in terms of turnout and book sales, but I don’t see the point in lying. I do okay for myself and that’s enough. I’d prefer to be honest. I opened for a band at Macaroon’s Night Club in Cheektowaga to a crowd of people who were mostly in their forties and fifties and got heckled. I read on through my four page rant about Buffalo drivers unphased, and when I got off the stage I wandered next to the jackass who was shooting his mouth off and he didn’t seem to have a peep to say to me. I’ll work on my comebacks this time around.

Christmas came and went and I had every intention of promoting more. There are two schools of thought about book promotion and I follow the notion that it’s better to run myself ragged for a month than space everything out so that I have no freedom and no privacy over the course of a year. I prefer to stay behind the scenes most of the time. Plus I need a life and some personal time to actually write these books. After Christmas, we went through a merger at work and I got a new boss. I’ve never dealt well with change. Then I found out that Media Play was going out of business. They were my biggest break to date and it crushed me to find out that my book wasn’t going to be on shelves at a chain anymore. Anxiety crept in through the cracks and depression followed shortly thereafter. That, and I was blocked. After writing a treatise about turning 30 (’Thoughts On 30’) and about how I was over writer’s block, that’s exactly what I got. I was out of the habit and it was tough to jump back in. So I started drinking until three in the morning. This never helps.

My buddy Finn got me into Charles Bukowski, so I went into poet mode and kept writing, but in a different mode. In the span of six months, I penned about sixty pages worth of free verse and labored away on my first full poetry collection. Conceptually, I decided that I was done with the three tiered format of essays, projects and prose for my books. It was time to move on. They functioned for a long time as a good showcase, but it was time to grow up as a writer, so my main focus would remain on essays while the interviews, bar reviews, poetry and other projects could kindly set up residence elsewhere. The prospect of writing a book entirely made up of rants and commentary was daunting, as I’ve never done that before. So I stalled somewhere around page thirty, picked up a glass of whiskey and disappeared inside of myself for a good six months. Sure it was grueling and emotionally painful and demeaning, but we’ve all been here before. I don’t need to go into it at length. I knew what the period was, and I gave in to it. Bipolar (for me) is and always will be a bitch. I’ll take the bad with the good, and so did Lindsay. This was my second down cycle in our relationship and she stuck it out with me, going out for drinks with friends when she was tired of being cooped up in the house and being loving and supportive with me in my cocoon at home while I wasn’t working.

When I can’t write, I am miserable. Therefore, I drink a lot more, and I drink alone, at that. This isn’t an exceptional quality for most writers, and I know I’m not the first one to come up with this healthy and functional way of dealing with a lack of creativity. I read another six or seven Bukowski books and let the sadness and desolation of the writer speak to me, perhaps too much. Months passed and I was no longer writing bar reviews and interviews for Night Life, ArtVoice or The Buffalo News, my three mainstays in the Buffalo area. I called Ed (my editor at Night Life) and told him that I wouldn’t be around for awhile, and that the depression was getting the best of me. This was the first time I brought him into the fold. He understood, and told me not to be a stranger.

Now it’s a bitch to build up an audience and then pull a Houdini on them. If and when you ever come back, you have to win them back one reader at a time, and this takes time. Up to this point, I had no solution for how I would keep people in the loop when the darkness descended, so I had to repeat this process for five or six years. While I was in the planning stages for First Person, Last Straw, I set up a catch-all blog site to inform my fans of what I was up to, and I kept the credo that the site would focus only on publishing, writing, and book related information. The site chugged along with a few updates over the course of those ten months.

By October of 2006, I was starting to come out of it. We had a company convention in Dallas and most of my friends and co-workers were asking about my writing and how it was going. Just the activity of talking about it with people was enough to get the wheels moving again. When I got back from Texas, a tiny idea popped into my head about walking around with my fly down and I rushed out an essay (’Zip Sliding Away’). If They Can’t Take A Joke, my follow up book to First Person, Last Straw, had been complete for almost a year. I’m neurotic that way. I won’t publish or promote a book until I’m at least half way done with the next. ’Zip Sliding Away’ was the first essay I’d written for my fifth book in almost a year. After that, the well spring of support propelled me forward to write more.

Now there was a time when I was content to just write with or without an audience. Those times are long gone. I look at my fans and my friends in all the gray areas as a support group. They keep me from getting too cocky, they keep me from going of the deep end, and they let me know when I’m on the right track. My writing process continues to evolve and transmutate over the years. When I was writing If They Can’t Take A Joke, the plan was to write one article a week to stay fresh and to stay ahead of my readers by three or four articles, and I stuck to that schedule for quite some time. When I stopped writing new material, I stopped sending out my bimonthly newsletter, ’Big Words I Know By Heart’. Always leave them wanting more. I didn’t want to show my readers everything I’ve written, and I still manage to talk them into buying the books because they’re still missing out on forty to sixty percent of my work even if they hit all the web sites and pick up all the publications I appear in. By mid October of 2006, that process went out the window. My brainstorming method of jotting down little ideas into a notebook to find out which ones turned into big ideas went out the window. All of it went out with the baby and the bathwater. This was a new dawn.

Dawn indeed. I realized in the back of my mind that I had some catching up to do. I was tired of going two years before a follow up book, and I started waking up at six and seven in the morning after staying up until one in the morning finishing a piece. Instead of writing one essay a week, I was writing three or four off the top of my head. I got up first thing in the morning, brewed a coffee, and went to work. Writing had become a job for me that I could turn on and off like a switch, and I couldn’t be happier. By November, I felt confident enough about my recovered creativity that I called my editor at Night Life and told him that I wanted back in, but under one condition. I wanted a humor column. I would still do bar reviews from time to time, but the time had come to start doing what I wanted to do. And to sweeten the deal, I’d be able to write it year round, block or no block. With over a thousand pages of backlogged material (most of which has never seen print thanks to the assignments and constrictions of most journalistic publications in this town), I had essays to burn. I knew that Ed was the only editor in town who would print my outrageous, offensive, foul-mouthed tirades intact in this town. He took the bait. Starting late in November, we premiered ’Big Words I Know By Heart’.

Now I don’t know if I’ve ever told this story about the name of the column, the newsletter and the web site, but I’ll digress for a moment and get it out of the way. Six years ago (when I was promoting my first book), I worked with a cocky little shit by the name of Bryan Staebell. I was his boss at a job I was trying to get fired at, so we went to the bar after work (and during work occasionally) numerous times and we talked about my self published monster at the time, Soup To Nuts. This kid was convinced that he could do everything better than anyone, so he read the manuscript and told me that he was going to write a better book and that more people were going to buy it than mine. He told me that my book was garbage, and that I should’ve called it ’Big Words I Know By Heart’. I laughed and told him that was clever, and that sure, his book was going to sell more. Let’s see you make it, I said.

Shortly after that (circa 2001), I started a crude email newsletter for my friends and family to get them interested in the book and the local appearances. I wasn’t net savvy enough at the time to blind copy everyone’s email addresses so that no one poached on them. Bryan gave me money for the book and quit at our place of employment shortly thereafter. I was broke, and forgot about his purchase, so I didn’t or couldn’t get the book to him. Events were sketchy at the time.

Somebody emailed me with the AOL screen name of ’IHateTomWaters’ and emailed the rest of my friends as well. I thought it was the best friend I had a falling out with over sleeping with his ex. I was wrong. It took me a year and a half to figure out (through net research and otherwise) that it was none other than Bryan Staebell. I was good and pissed. So when I figured that out, I also put in some overtime to find out that he was trying to write horror fiction under the preposterous pseudonym of Poecraft. I visited all the message boards and gave away his real identity. He was shut down everywhere within weeks for his improper behavior online and I haven’t seen his stories since. He only wrote two pieces of flash fiction. Some goddamned book.

Bryan still lives in Buffalo and after that, I named all of my official fan goings on under the catch all banner of ‘Big Words I Know By Heart’. I really hope that’s a thorn in his ass. It was a good title for something, and it’s probably the only good idea he’ll ever have. This is the only time I’ve used, taken or gone with another person’s idea. Normally I refuse to accept other people’s suggestions, but I made an exception for this asshole. Moving on…

December of 2006. My blog site was acting buggy so I had to move it and transplant my audience over to the new location, which is never easy. After reaching 10,000 hits at the original, I had to start all over again. After having a short rant appear in The Buffalo News, one of their peripheral reps contacted me with an interesting proposition. A faction of The Buffalo News was splitting their web site (Buffalo.com) and starting a new community site that was picture and blog based. They wanted me to head the charge along with a hand picked selection of two or three other writers. I chomped at the bit. The name of the site was YourHub, and I thought it would make a good in to get some more work into the News. I was right.

Rather than move my readers to a third new site, I gave it a different theme and context. I called it ‘Big Buffalo I Know By Heart’, under the auspices that it would be a PG rated version of my other site with more of a focus on my social life and laden with pictures of my comings and goings. To date, I’ve had almost a thousand hits on the site and the hits keep coming now that it’s gone public since March and the News is dumping millions into marketing and advertising. In my old age, I’ve learned that it’s best not to put all your eggs into one basket. The weekly column kept chugging along and some time before Christmas I completed my fifth book, Slapstick & Superego, in record time. In three months, I’d written a hundred and fifty pages of just essays, which is something I’ve never done before. And I was still writing. In the past, it took a book promotion to get the old creative juices flowing again. There was no published book in sight and I was still chugging along.

With 2007 upon us I was tying up loose ends for my book launch in April for If They Can’t Take A Joke. Somewhere along the line I schmoozed my way into Buffalo Spree, a national magazine, to write interviews, book reviews and other freelance work. And then I elbowed my way into The Buffalo News and started writing bar reviews for them. I was learning how to really network. That, or I’m finally old enough and I’ve been around enough that the industry fossils are taking me seriously for a change.

In February, after deciding to hang up my hat as a bar reviewer for Night Life magazine, I thought about compiling some of the best reviews and putting them together myself in paperback form. I had a web site I put together as a joke actually selling t shirts, thongs and doggy kilts with my book covers and personal pictures that was making money. The site had a book option. I took everything I had in my reviews folder and taught myself PDF over the course of a weekend. This is how Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish was born. It’s sold over 130 copies by hand in less than two months. I wanted to try an experiment to see if the smaller projects would make money if I self published them through an at cost site. It worked.

My poetry collection split in half and I kept giving away poems on my sites to start drumming up interest for a 2008 simultaneous release. An older poem about an ex girlfriend who’s a d.j. caught her attention and she threatened me with a lawsuit. Knowing what I can and can’t get away with, I copied her childish ravings and posted them on the web site. I kept the poem up and her tantrum drove another five or six hundred unique hits to the new Big Words site. Pity for her.

I’m four weeks away from the official book launch for If They Can’t Take A Joke and I couldn’t be positioned any better for success. My weekly column in print is going into its 16th week and I’m not even going to consider the prospect of stopping until it hit’s the year mark, if that. The new web site is rounding out to 2,000 unique hits and averages about fifty visitors a day. Acid Logic, a web site I’ve been contributing to faithfully since 2002, is still drawing new and unusual readers from across the globe to check out my work. I’m about sixty pages into the essay collection AFTER the next essay collection and both poetry volumes are rounding at about seventy percent completion. I’ve got high quality glossy posters up all over town with both book covers and the dates for my appearances at least four weeks in advance. Sometimes it takes five years of making mistakes to learn how to do things the right way when it comes to promotion. I guess I’ll find out this April.

Optioning the action figures through George Lucas,

Tom ’Big Words I Know By Heart’ Waters

%d bloggers like this: