Archive for May, 2008


Monday Big Words Update! Week 76 on stands, happy Cinco De Mayo!

May 5, 2008

Doesn’t it just suck that all the great drinking holidays fell on a Monday this year?  This makes the third in a row that I didn’t go out for (St. Patty’s, Dyngus Day, and now this), which really chaps my ass.  Who wants to start their week off with a holiday hangover?  Ah well….

The new material rolls out in Night Life today with ‘Force Feedback’, a Night Life exclusive geared towards getting all of you deadbeats off your feet and onto you computers contributing to the column’s monthly mail bag.  Since launching the Big Words I Know By Heart column back in November of ’06, I’ve only gotten a handful of emails and comments from readers.  I want to find out who my readers are and what they have to say!  And if there’s anything (and I mean ANYTHING) that you’re curious about that I haven’t answered in a year and a half of rants, ask away!  I would really, really like to do a mail column at the end of June, so get off your ass and email me with any questions, comments and rants to:

In case you missed the mid-week update last Wednesday, Episode 58 of The Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal is up and running with yours truly sitting in for a record-breaking seventh time as co-host.  Hal and I went completely off the reservation for two hours on local topics like Elliot Spitzer, the Chippewa bar bouncer beatdowns, Canadians and a great many national issues.  Listen in or download the new episode and vote on it at:

In the mean time, I’m counting down to my one week of vacation at Rushford Lake next Wednesday.  After I get back, I’ll be heading into the radio studio for Susan Marie’s ‘This Is Not An Apple’ program for a lengthy and candid interview on Tuesday, May 27th.  And for those of you who are looking for an update on the Buffalo anthology that Alycia Ripley and myself have been cobbling together, I threw a new post up over there, too.  Read all about it at:

That’s all I’ve got for you for today.  I’ve got a few good ideas that I’m going to try and hammer out tomorrow for June’s columns.  Keep reading, grab a Night Life and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SEND ME SOME EMAILS FOR THE MAILBAG COLUMN!  I don’t ask for much that often, so help a brother out here….

Have a great week!

Tom Waters


Cutting Room Floor: The rest of the Pour House review

May 2, 2008

My review on the Pour House in Hamburg hit today in the Club Watch section of the Gusto and my editor (who does a damned good job at editing my pieces) omitted a significant amount of the original draft.  A friend of mine called me up to let me know that it was in, and that it seemed like a portion of the review was gone since the review seemed to skip straight to a conclusion.  Now I can understand why some of my less than flattering reviews are polished so as not to offend too much.  But here we are.  I wouldn’t go back to the Pour House if someone paid me to, so I’ll show you some of the critiques and paragraphs that didn’t make it into the final cut.  Keep in mind that none of these sentences went to print in the finished version:

Scene: A sports bar for the upper-middle class….

…In situations with unruly patrons, I always wonder if they’re friends with the owners or if their money is more valuable than the casual walk-ins that they drive away from the bar permanently…

…A gentleman in his mid to late ’30s ambled up to the cougars with a pea-green PGA baseball hat and if it wasn’t abundantly obvious, we were strangers in a strange land. A 50 year old man in a Bill’s jersey hob-knobbed with some of the other bar folk and the second quarter of the Sabres game concluded…

…While everyone’s experience is subjective, I can’t see the average club goer walking in for the first time and having a positive, memorable experience there…

…Our bartender was friendly and attentive, but we won’t be coming back…

     If you take some of these comments and put them within the context of the article, they paint a slightly more sinister picture of our experience.  In the year and a half that I’ve written the Club Watch reviews, I’ve only panned three bars out of something like 35 or 36, so I don’t shoot to kill unless I’ve got a good reason.  If this is something you as readers find interesting, let me know and I’ll run some more installments in the future.  If it’s more information than you need and you could really care less, that’s understandable too.  Leave me some comments and I’ll react accordingly. 




The Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal Episode 58! Teabag & Tennile, Balloon Priest, Doe A Deer and More!

May 1, 2008

     After four hours of high pressure comedy at Uncle Hal studios, we’ve got another four star episode!  I thought I was a little rusty, Hal was at the top of his game and I’m still laughing so hard it hurts at some of the stuff we said.  You’re not going to believe some of the bits we riffed with and you’ll really have to hear it to believe it.  If this episode doesn’t get us both of us strung up from a telephone pole, nothing will.  Hal assures me that Episode 58 should be up online sometime tonight or tomorrow (Thursday), so click on over and check back often at:

    Find out why over 4,000 people download Uncle Hal onto their Ipods every single month.   I didn’t even have anything to promote, but it was fun just to be back on the show.  Hal and I hit such a comedic zietgeist every time that I can’t resist being on the show just for the hell of it.  Listen to the episode, find out what the ‘Teabag & Tenille’ reference is all about and email your comments to:

-or phone your opinion in at:


-Thanks again to Hal for another great show.  Appearing as a guest on the show is the easy part and he spends countless man hours finding sound clips, news items, writing the Happy Ending and tirelessly editing and producing the show.  The professional end product for every episode is a testement to just how much time he invests in it.  A disclaimer, though: If you’re easily offended, mildly offended or occassionally offended by cringe comedy, Don Rickles-style comedy, or if you’ve ever taken any offense at anything in your life, don’t listen.  If you’ve got a twisted sense of humor and it takes a lot to rub you the wrong way, you’re in for one hell of a trip.   


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