Posts Tagged ‘big words radio’

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Big Words I Know By Heart Episode 32: ‘Prima Facie’

December 10, 2016

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…which is a legal term for ‘on the face of it.’  I thought it was a good fit for a title because a) Guest Michael Bly is a litigation attorney in addition to being a musician and b) There’s a lot more to him than his party-loving rockstar facade.  This was an episode that was originally scheduled back in November of 2014, but Mike had to cancel at the last minute due to traffic coming home from a Bills game in Michigan or something like that.

I’ve known Michael Bly since somewhere around 2005.  Recollection is hazy because I drank quite a bit back then, but I’m pretty sure longtime pal Gregg Sansone introduced me to him at The Hidden Shamrock (now shuttered) in Depew during a Night Life magazine assignment.  We just keep bumping into each other.  Mike was kind enough to do 2 hours of the Big Words Radio podcast back in its’ heyday and even circled back for the Big Words Radio Finale Roast that was supposed to be a joke but actually came true.  For those of you who want to hear the podcasts, you can click the link to the right on the page here or just search it on the Internet Archive.  Not sure if this is too much backstory, but again, I’m trying to do a bit more than just ‘Here’s the episode, please watch it.’  He’s a charming person, a talented musician and yes, he’s a really, really nice guy.  I met Co Host Jason Garra during a Buffalo News review assignment at Woody’s Pub in Lackawanna when he was with band-in-residence Helicopter Pilot.  It made for a cozy, hopefully entertaining show:

Thanks to Bly, Garra and producer Richard Wicka for another enjoyable outing.  Now that I’m don’t hit the bars anymore, it’s good to find an excuse to catch up with old friends who are still on the circuit.  For the love of God and all that’s holy, SUBSCRIBE for new shows, bonus clips and additional unlockable content!  Comedian Clayton Williams will be joining me at month’s end along with actress/comedienne/cosplayer Becca Barnum.  Don’t adjust your laptops, monitors and tablets!

Tom

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New Year, New Deal

January 1, 2015

2015 is going to be an exciting year for me as well as my company, Doubt It Publishing. For the first time in my life I have a solid battle plan as well as the means to implement it. My vision for the next year in a nutshell is this: Expanding the legacy I have and preserving it at the same time. While some of you may argue that ‘legacy’ is too strong a word, let me proactively counter by saying that every one of us leaves a legacy in our wake either intentionally or unintentionally. If I’m being optimistic, I’ve still got half of a lifetime left. I’d like to make it count. What follows is a specific outline of my plans for the radio show, the video show, my own bibliography and a possible catalog for Doubt It Publishing in the coming year:

I don’t want to lose what I’ve already accomplished. Discovering that The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour had gone offline and off the grid on iTunes (as a direct result of the website Mevio closing their doors) really stung. To date, I’ve ported the 100+ episodes of Big Words Radio twice to two different websites. The process is arduous and time intensive. I really didn’t want to see the show disappear forever from public view. Thankfully (as a result of my renewed passion for reading), I stumbled onto a website that will hopefully never go away. It’s a non-profit project to preserve the best of the internet for generations to come encompassing audio, text and video. Think of it as a PBS for the information age.

The website I’m referring to is the Internet Archive. I’ve been secretly and quietly uploading episodes of The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour chronologically and placing them there in what I hope is their final resting place. They’ve been uploaded under a Public Domain license, which means that anyone who reaches my shows can listen if they like, share with whomever they like or download the shows for free. Episode V was just uploaded yesterday, and I’ll continue to post the entire catalog as the year plays out. You can view, listen and download the current shows available here:

The Big Words I Know By Heart RadioHour

For your convenience, I’m also posting a Quick Link on my website here to the RIGHT of this article. If you listen or download, please take the time to write a brief review of the episodes you peruse.

As for Big Words Video, there are some amazing shows in store for you all and they are all confirmed and booked through to the very end of 2015. Filmmaker and comic book proprietor Emil Novak (Queen City Bookstore) will be my guest in two weeks. Who else is coming on? ‘Dr. Dirty’ himself John Valby, Graham Nolan (the comic creator of Batman’s Bane), Public publisher Geoff Kelly and possibly Tom Sartori, to name just a few. I’ve learned from producing four years of the radio show that it’s a smart move to plan ahead, always have a backup plan and always be prepared. Filming the show (as opposed to interviewing guests over the phone or via Skype) has forced me to give the content more of a local focus. There is a wellspring of talented writers, comedians, musicians and other entertainers with no sign of drying out, and I will continue to help celebrate the homegrown talent we have on hand locally and regionally until further notice.

Big Words Video Episode I: ‘Hang In There, Baby!’ has already passed the 400 view mark on YouTube and from what I’m seeing, it looks like the show keeps picking up new viewers with every episode. Not only that, but the people who watch appear to be cycling back through the other shows as well. Later this month I’ll be exclusively filming on location at the 2014 Buffalo Night Life Music & Club Awards, and with more equipment and a looser leash on Youtube just around the corner, you can expect to see a marked increase in show production in late August when Big Words Video kicks off Season Two. In the meantime, you can support the show by ‘Liking’ and ‘Sharing’ it on Youtube as well as Subscribing to my YouTube Videos (bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com) for the Bonus Episodes as well as my producer’s (Richard Wicka). It’s been a great deal of fun so far and it’s just going to get better.

As for my books, I own all publishing rights to the last 8 out of the 12 books that I’ve penned since 2002. There’s a larger plan for that too, but I don’t know if I’ll have the time or the resources to get around to that particular wrinkle. As a reluctant and late adopter to the digital revolution, I am hard at work designing multi-format ebooks for my entire catalog. I can’t give you an exact date because I want to make sure that it’s done right (and some editing may be applied to each individual title before they go live), but I can promise you that by year’s end, Mockery and no less than one other title from the Doubt It Publishing roster will be available on iBooks, Kindle format and all other ebook devices.

As far as BuffaloComedy.com, my alliance with editor Kristy Rock will continue until at least October of this year. The freedom I’ve been allowed on the site to write, do and say as I please has been much-needed, and it’s a comfort to know that my sense of humor is still intact after weathering one of the most tumultuous times in my life. Her only request was one for positivity, and that single instruction has helped to drastically change my writing, which is directly coloring the content to Travesty, my next book.

Regarding Travesty’s completion, there is less than a third of the book left to pen. That being said, I am in no hurry, and it will not be released until it is near-perfect. After writing 12 books and releasing 15 in the short span of 11 years, I sincerely feel that I don’t have anything to prove anymore, and should subsequently relax and take my time with any future endeavors. Travesty may come out later this year or early next year. Unfortunately I can’t be any more specific than that. It will come out when it’s ready.

With Doubt It Publishing, I’m reminded of the near-inescapable fate that many independent music and book publishers eventually reach. If history is any indicator, I may be doomed to a catalog that largely shares my last name. I wish this wasn’t so, and will try to do what I can to combat it. The doors are still wide open for local or regional authors looking to find a home for their work. I am going to put on my thinking cap this year and try to find some viable writing talents with fresh and subversive voices fighting for the chance to be heard. If you or someone you know has written a great manuscript that has a fighting chance in a competitive marketplace, queries and sample chapters can be sent to my attention at:

bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com

Where readings and signings are concerned there will be more, plain and simple. The last two readings were successful financially, so it would be foolish not to continue. Once the winter months recede, you can count on me hitting the road with a PA system, a few boxes full of books and a bicycle horn. Now that I’m older I don’t see the benefit of booking three and four appearances a week for three month campaigns anymore, but I’ll be picking and choosing some select venues and peppering them throughout the summer and fall.

This is a remarkable time in my life and I’m grateful for the cornucopia of opportunities (and mediums) I have to channel all of my creative needs. As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the trip with me.

Starting 2015 with a bang,
Tom

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For Immediate Release: Big Words Video Now In Pre-Production: Call For Artists

August 4, 2014

Big Words Warhol Fan Pic by Marisa DillingerHey all,

All my life I’ve been terrified of change.

I’ve fought it tooth and nail. I’ve raged against it. I’ve run away from it. I’ve denied its very existence as a force at work in my life. And do you want to know something? It happened anyway.

Change is the only constant in our lives. It’s taken me 38 years to realize that the best way to deal with change is by surrendering to it. Ironically, changing yourself is next to impossible. With a lot of help in the last nine months, I’ve been able to do that.

I’m not the same person anymore. It’s that simple. This change came at great personal cost. In order to accomplish this, I had to let go of everything I was and almost everything I valued. Much of my life was in ruins anyway, and I was disgusted with the person I’d become.

It’s funny how you can go through your life expecting it to have a set trajectory: college, prestige, courtship, a bibliography, a column, a marriage, a radio show, etc. And then life takes a turn, or hops off the tracks and all of a sudden you’re in uncharted territory. So what do you do? The map book goes out the window, all the clothes that were packed for the trip are no longer valid and even the North Star is out of sight.

What did I do? I put my foot on the gas.

My old life is gone. Kaput. Dead and buried.

Out of the ashes came a life I never expected. Not even in my wildest dreams. Somehow I’ve found a way to look the world square in the eye without flinching now. Somehow I’ve found a way out of the vicious, vindictive pattern I perpetuated, lashing out at anyone nearby and often at the people who meant the most to me. When the world didn’t respond the way that I wanted it to, I flipped my lid, sat in the middle of the floor and threw a good old fashioned tantrum until there was nothing left to salvage.

With change as a constant, though, it came as no surprise to find out that mevio.com had closed their doors forever. This means that The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour is no longer (and may never be again) on iTunes. Luckily, producer Richard Wicka kept a secret stash of shows out of sight on one of his websites, Think Twice Radio. Again, you can click the new link to the right under The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour to explore and listen to the archives.

Richard and I resumed conversation a few weeks ago after a long vacuum and I told him I was afraid of the chain reaction that he would trigger if I set foot inside his Home Of The Future. What a fool I am. The fuse lit the second I started talking to him again, perhaps sooner.

I spent four years grinding out episodes of Big Words Radio from 2008-2012 and Richard was with me every step of the way. When he initially asked me to host a show, my internal logic was ‘Why not? It’s something new and I’m up for the challenge.’ It turned out to be one of the most enjoyable projects in my career. Doing the show was cathartic, therapeutic and downright fun. At the top of our game, the show was pulling in about 3,000 unique hits a month. That’s not too shabby for a stupid little podcast with schticky sound props that we picked up at dollar stores. In that four years, I had the pleasure of interviewing cartoonists, writers, musicians, adult film stars, actors, directors, editors and a whole host of other fascinating subjects.

So what now?

It’s time to change it up a bit.

On August 22nd, Big Words I Know By Heart is going video. Once the show is edited and buffered it will be posted to YouTube as soon as possible compliments of Richard Wicka, one of maybe four great mentors that I’ve had throughout my career. I suggest that you type in ‘Richard Wicka’ ON YouTube and subscribe as quickly as you can. As of August 23rd, Big Words Radio will change its spots to Big Words I Know By Heart Video! And don’t you worry, there will be plenty of bonus clips up on my own account on YouTube above and beyond the half hour format that Richard and I are adhering to. You can find my account by searching ‘Tom Waters’ or ‘bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com’.

With a change in the media all the old rules have to go out the window. A visual medium is an entirely different animal. With a few exceptions, the guests will have to be local artists who can appear in person instead of national celebrities. As a result, the focus will shift to more of a Buffalo-centric format. My sense of humor has evolved. I’m faster and sharper and will go straight for the throat with more severity than I’ve ever been capable of. Comedy is murder, and Aristotle said that all humor is derived from cruelty, so let’s see what sort of wholesale butchery we can commit together, eh?

There are a lot of plans in the works. The wheels are already in motion and the trajectory is no longer up to me if it ever was. It’s high time to make as many people laugh as I possibly can at their cubicles, their home computer desks or yes (goddamnit), on their smart phones. Keep a keen eye trained on the YouTubes and be ready on August 23rd because I’m not going to start out with any soft punches. And please tell all your friends. Word of mouth (or so I’ve heard) is a wonderful form of promotion.

If you’re a Buffalo artist, whether it’s music, writing, painting, drawing, sculpting, cooking or anything else that’s entertaining in a visual spectrum, I’m taking all comers. Feel free to email me at: bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com to book a studio date sooner rather than later. The show will air once a month until further notice.

And you probably want to know what’s going on with my writing. My answer to that is: It’s only a matter of time.

I’m not playing the Buffalo promotional game by the current establishment’s rules anymore (if I ever did). I’m not taking my ball and going home. I’m taking my ball and building a better playground. Podcasts are dying. Newspapers are folding left and right. Marketing has evolved into a free form of networking, hash-tagging and viral games of connecting the dots. If you’re an established member of local or national media and you want to be involved, you’re in. If not, that’s fine too.

If you’re a viewer, reader or listener who’s new to the party, thanks for joining us. You couldn’t have picked a better time than right now to hop on board. For those of you who have followed me, supported me and encouraged me since the beginning, thanks for hanging in there. Things are going to get interesting again. Things are going to get very entertaining and offensive and funny and thought provoking again.

See you at the picture show in less than three weeks.

Tom Waters

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Sterlace & Saracki #45: Wholesome To The Max, Good News & even more good news…

August 3, 2014
A room full of narcissists.

A room full of narcissists.

Okay, folks!

The Greg Sterlace Show appearance is in the can and is now live on ‘the YouTubes’.  You can view the show in all of it’s highly offensive glory at:

Sterlace & Saracki #45: Wholesome To The Max

We had a fantastic time.Show producer Richard Wicka assures me that the episode will air on Time Warner Cable some time in September on a Friday at 7 p.m.  I’ll believe that when I see it.  Someone is bound to get sued as a result of this episode and picketing against The Home Of The Future may be a distinct possibility.  Whatever the case, it’s just good comedy.  Many thanks to Sterlace, Saracki, Amy Smardz & the rest of Greg’s band of merry pranksters for having me on the show and making it happen.

As for The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour, there’s good news for those of you who are late to the party.  The majority of the shows are in fact still available online.  All  you have to do is click the newly revised link to the right of this post in my ‘Links’ section under ‘The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour’ and you can listen to four years worth of podcasts.

And for purposes I’m not yet ready to reveal, I now have a Twitter and Instagram account.  It’s time to get with the 21st century.  You can follow my exploits on Twitter and Instagram under this handle:

@tomfoolery444

I’ve got a really Big announcement to make tomorrow.  I’ve been toiling away on a new project and I’m almost at a loss for Words.  If only there were a Video clip I could quick-link to explain said project…

Check back with me tomorrow.  Onward and upward, gang.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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A Return Of Sorts To The Greg Sterlace Show…Things Have Changed

July 27, 2014

I realize that it’s been a long time in blog years since I’ve posted. Well a lot has happened in my personal life in the last nine months. I’ll get to that shortly…
Next week I’ll be appearing on Greg Sterlace’s new talk show at Richard Wicka’s Home Of The Future Studio in West Seneca. His live action show appears on Time Warner Cable as well as ‘the Youtubes’. Those of you who have followed my misadventures may remember that the last time I appeared on his show, I made a joke so outrageous that the episode was banned from public broadcast at the last minute. There’s no telling what sort of trouble and mayhem may occur this time, but Richard assures me that YouTubes standards and practices are much more lenient than Time Warner’s. I’ll throw a link up for all of you next week. Sterlace is back in Buffalo where he belongs and it’ll be nice to see him, his wife Paula and Richard in one fell swoop.
I’m sad to report that Mevio.com, the site that hosted the entire episodic run of The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour, has folded. This means (unfortunately) that the bulk of that show has disappeared from the SuperInformation Highway forever. If you still have older episodes on your ‘Itunes’, you may want to hang onto them, because for the time being, I have no plans to host the show elsewhere. You can still listen to a handful of the final episodes at: http://www.thinktwiceradio.com.
As for my personal life, I’ve been going through a divorce since November of last year. My son Benjamin is now fourteen months old. I’ve also stopped drinking, which may come as a shock to many of you. A lot has changed. I’ve changed more in the last eight months than I have in the last twenty years.
The good news is that my sense of humor has returned and it’s sharper than it’s ever been. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how my penchant for creativity will fit into my new lifestyle, if it fits at all, and how to implement a creative outlet without reverting into the vindictive, egotistical maniac that I’ve portrayed so well for the last ten or so odd years.
I don’t have an answer to that question yet, but I’m working on it. Just because I’m working on becoming a better person doesn’t mean that comedy has become extinct in this brave new world.
I may ramp up my persona and magnify it despite the kinder, gentler person I’ve become. I might try NOT to do that thing where I gain some momentum as a writer or a broadcaster and somehow manage to piss everyone off and ruin everything in the process. Time will tell. Whatever the case, I do not regret the past nor do I wish to shut the door on it.
Stay tuned. Things are about to get interesting again. America is all about second acts and second chances and the curtain hasn’t even gone up yet. The intermission is almost over and the show will resume shortly.

Sincerely,
Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 70: ‘Rack-tastic’

March 15, 2012

To be honest, this was one interview where I had no idea what questions I was going to ask.  We’ve never had a rapper on the show before!  Like any other episode, though, once we started recording everything fell into place.  Here’s your synopsis:

 

Episode 70: ‘Rack-tastic’

Tom talks to Buffalo rapper Lex about his breakout E.P. ‘Threshold Of A Dream’. Co-host Billy Dyson fumbles through stock questions while Lex bad-mouths WBNY.

 

-To listen to the show in full audio quality, click here:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

-To hear the latest show as well as the entire 100+ episode history of Big Words Radio, click here:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

-You can also subscribe to the show by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ on ‘the iTunes’.

 

Thanks are in order to Lex for rolling with the punches (he never bad-mouthed WBNY), Billy Dyson for withstanding my abuse and knowing when to interject, and producer Richard Wicka for stifling his rage when we showed up an hour and a half early to the studio and still managed to start the interview ten minutes late.

 

Enjoy!

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 69: ‘Common Motherf#$@*ers’

February 9, 2012

To be completely honest, I went into the studio with the preconceived notion that cartoonist Tom Beland was going to be pretty square as a guest.  Having only met radio host Michael Hoffert Jr. before, I also assumed that his soft-spoken demeanor wouldn’t gel well with the spirit of Big Words Radio.  You know what they say about assuming.  I was wrong on both counts.  Beland was a riot once he opened up and Mr. Hoffert balanced out my random insanity with a lexicon of rote knowledge about the comics industry as well as a genuine zeal for the art form.  Here is your synopsis:

 

Episode 69: ‘Common Motherf#$@*ers

Tom & Executive Dual Host Michael Hoffert Jr. (‘It Came From The Longbox’) talk with writer/cartoonist Tom Beland (‘True Story, Swear To God’) via ‘The Skype’ about romance, comics, profanity, stand-up comedy and smoking too much weed.

 

-To hear the show on the Think Twice Radio roster, click your way over to:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

-To hear every episode in the history of Big Words Radio including bonus clips, bonus episodes and outtakes, click on:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

-In addition, you can subscribe to Big Words Radio for free on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ in Podcasts and selecting the Comedy listing.

 

My apologies and thanks to Tom Beland and Mike Hoffert for assuming the worst only to discover that they brought their A game to the table.  This was a great show and after we taped, I came to the conclusion that it was a great show whether I was a part of it or not.  Tom opened up with some personal information he’s never offered before.  Mike (who’s used to discussing newly released comics rather than talking to their creators) truly shined when he had a chance to talk to one of his heroes.  All I did was insert my usual brand of insanity into the program.  It was a neat blend of personalities that made for an entertaining listen.

We’re setting our sights for unusual game next month.  Co-host William Dyson (who’s the very definition of bizaare) and myself will be talking to Buffalo rapper Art Shepard/a.k.a. ‘Lex’ about his debut album.  Last year, Big Words Radio got ‘back to its roots’ and I focused more on intriguing guests instead of brand name celebrities with stock responses.  It paid off.  This year, I’ll be getting back to the artists (local and national) who are more deserving of a wider audience.  While the show is erratic and goofy and all over the place most of the time, there is a definitive blueprint that I’m trying to reinforce.

Playing outside the boundaries of the traditional interview remains the framework for a show that’s been anything but formulaic.

Cheers,

Tom

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Big Words Radio Episode 68: ‘I Was Wakened By Rage’

January 16, 2012
We definitely started the New Year with a bang.
    Yesterday’s show was unpredictable, volatile and flat-out hilarious.  Atomic Don contends that it’s the best interview I’ve done on the show thus far.  I’ll say that it definitely belongs in the top ten.  Here’s your synopsis:
Episode 68: ‘I Was Wakened By Rage’
Tom aggravates the bejesus out of artist Tony Millionaire (Maakies, The Drinky Crow Show) by waking him up earlier than his regularly scheduled noon morning perambulations. Atomic Don does his best impression of Ed McMahon and the boys regale each other with tales of hard drinking, great cartooning, Newt Gingrich and anti-Semitism.
-To hear the show in full audio quality click on over to:
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
-To hear all 100+ episodes including bonus shows and additional clips click on over to:
http://www.bigwords.mevio.com
-You can also subscribe to The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour for free on ‘The iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ in the podcast section and clicking on the Comedy listing.
    We knew Tony Millionaire was going to be a good fit for the show, but I had no idea that he was going to be ideal.  The man was literally engineered for Big Words Radio.  A huge thank you goes out to Tony, Atomic Don and Producer Richard Wicka for orchestrating the perfect storm for our first foray into Season Five.  While Atomic Don gets a ‘runner’s high’ after jogging around for a few hours, I can always tell when we’ve had a good show because I get a warm, fuzzy feeling that lingers after we’re done taping.  This was one of those shows.
    Cartoonist Tom Beland (True Story, Swear To God) is on deck for February 7th along with co-host Michael Hoffert Jr. (It Came From The Long Box).  We’ve all got a tough act to follow, but it looks like Season 5 is off to one hell of a great start.
Enjoy,
Tom Waters
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Out With The Old, In With The New

December 29, 2011

2011 was truly a banner year all around.  If someone told me this time last year that I’d launch three books in the span of 8 months while working on two more and holding down a full time job, I’d tell them they were nuts.

Mockery got better media exposure than my last three books combined and went on to sell more copies faster than any other book I’ve released.  In terms of sales it’s second only to If They Can’t Take A Joke.  It continues to sell steadily even though the inaugural push is over with.

Mark McElligott’s Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind was a resounding breakout success from a talented and previously unheard of writer.  Together we managed to find a larger audience for his idiosyncratic brand of humor in his hometown of Lockport as well as throughout Buffalo.  And while there was no real launch campaign for Poke The Scorpion With A Sharp Stick, it’s turned a tidy profit since its release in August that would make its previous poetry predecessors proud.  The collection was received as an entertaining step forward compared to both Breathing Rooms.

            Somehow this year I also managed to get banned from Time Warner Cable and earned a film credit for the music video ‘I Wanna Be Oprah’ (which is still available on YouTube).  I guess we can chalk both up to being in the right place at the right time.

While doing some site maintenance this morning I realized that some of the links to the right here were broken.  I updated all of them to ensure that they were functional, so for those interested, you can now click on Born Pissed and Zany Hijinx to buy my first two books or click on ‘The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour’ link to go right to the show.  All of the links on the right-hand sidebar are fully operational again, so browse at your leisure!

Speaking of Big Words Radio, Season 4 turned out to be the magic number.  Somehow despite the over-the-top comedy and subversive, offensive content the show turned out to be the Little Podcast That Could, finding an audience of over 3,000 listeners per month.  Season 5 promises to be just as crass and irreverent as it’s always been, so stay tuned!

The next two years should be light duty compared to this one.  I’m putting the finishing touches on Icarus On The Mend: Memoirs Of A Manic Depressive before working on the cover and interior design with cover artist Derek Patrick Evoy and graphic designer Brian Platter (Six Shot Studios) for a firm signed and numbered (50 copies only) hardcover release date of October 25th, 2012.  Exactly one year later the book will appear again in two trade paperback volumes for the general public.

It remains to be seen whether there will be a 2012 Doubt It Publishing Author Of The Year.  The book I devoted countless time into proofreading, editing and consultation on fell through due to contract negotiations and after Voices From The Herd I have zero interest in extending a call for submissions.  I am working with someone on something else but time will tell if the concept bears fruit or not.

Thanks for such a spectacular year, everybody.  I look forward to a productive and financially successful New Year!

 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters            

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‘Notorious’: The Big Words One Man Mobile Unit @The 2011 Buffalo Night Life Music Awards

December 10, 2011

For those of you who weren’t in on it (drum roll please), The Big Words Finale was an elaborate prank that took five months to prepare for.  The joke’s on you, Buffalo!  You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, did you?  Contrary to my cries of woe before the ‘final episode’, new and improved stats on both web sites have revealed that Big Words Radio is tracking at over 3,000 downloads a month.  And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I had no idea there were so many of you with such a twisted sense of humor, so the show must go on!

Moving on then, co-host Minnick and myself set ourselves loose this week at Page’s Paradise Island for the 2011 Night Life Buffalo Music Awards.  The Big Words Poltergeist struck not once but repeatedly, as the batteries I charged before the show died, we lost a sizeable sound clip with Best Duo Act Busted Stuff and I had a number of headaches posting the show properly on Mevio.  Thankfully all the bugs have been worked out.  Here is your synopsis:

‘Notorious’: The Big Words One Man Mobile Unit @The 2011 Buffalo Night Life Music Awards

Tom and returning co-host/designated driver Kevin Minnick get tanked up during the VIP open bar at Page’s Paradise Island while rubbing elbows with Brian Kahle and his trusty new assistant Rebecca.  0-60 Scott brings the hammer down while The Blues Hounds bring the house down.  The boys find two fantastic new reasons to see Black Widow live, Tom receives an award of his own from Busted Stuff and Michael Hund from Widow Maker says hello.

-To hear the show along with all 100+ episodes including bonus clips, click your way over to:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com.

-You can also subscribe to the show for free on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ and clicking on the Comedy listing in Podcasts.

-This episode will also appear later next week at:  http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

I’d like to thank all of the musicians as well as Brian Kahle for entertaining our questions with a good sense of humor.  I thought we were going to get kicked out last year so it was shocking that we amped up our obnoxiousness and were greeted with open arms.  Thanks are also in order to Ed Honeck from Night Life Magazine and Page’s Paradise Island for allowing us in the door and supplying us with emergency backup batteries.  Thank you also to Kevin Minnick for putting up with my abuse in a public setting for a return tour of duty.

There’s a very big year on the horizon for Big Words Radio.  Cartoonist Tony Millionaire will be coming on the show in January with Atomic Don and award winning musicians Strictly Hip, 100 Proof Justice and Widow Maker are all confirmed.  Dave and Cynthia from Busted Stuff are also discussing an intimate return visit.  Things will only get bigger and better as we continue onward and upward!

Stay tuned,

Tom Waters

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The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour Finale Roast

December 6, 2011

After 100 episodes, who knew that my former co-hosts would have so much pent up rage towards yours truly?

Seriously though, Friday’s Finale taping was everything I was hoping for and more.  After some exhaustive editing and splicing work over the course of the weekend we’ve got nearly two hours of creative variety and hilarious lambasting coming your way.  Here are your synopses:

The Big Words Radio Hour Finale Roast Pt.I: ‘Fag Hags & The 99%’

A star-studded cast of co-hosts from the catastrophic history of the program turn up to kick Tom in his baby nuts on the way down for the craptacular finale to a four year run of The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour.  Intentionally Bald Mike leads the charge, playwright Jon Elston gets himself into trouble, poet/comedian Josh Smith tears Tom a new one, Gun Nut Brendan enjoys what’s left of his Tullamore Dew (after Tom ‘has his way’ with it), Timmy C. reminisces about ‘Foamy Cokes’, Diabetes Dave laments his mom’s last pap smear, and all of the co-hosts in attendance launch an intervention with painfully poor results.

The Big Words Radio Hour Finale Roast Pt.II: ‘I Was Just Looking For Q-Tips & Polyps.’

Zombie Chris comes out of seclusion to discuss ‘the Meeghan double dip’, Tom’s old roommate Charles ‘Chezzie’ reflects on their magical bachelor years and refines his comedy routine, Doubt It Publishing wunderkind Mark McElligott further incriminates himself, Intentionally Bald Mike and Gun Nut Brendan return to cross a woefully small sword, rock star Michael Bly makes an unexpected cameo with his girlfriend Danielle and Intentionally Bald Mike blows a gasket over some shocking news about the show.

The Big Words Finale Bonus Round!

Hawaiian and/or Filipino wind-up car enthusiast Terry Kimmel shares a magical fantasy with Tom in the lead role and Chezzie sharpens up his comedy routine with mixed results.

To hear all three finale episodes along with every episode in the show’s history, click your way over to:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

You can also download the entire catalog for free by searching the Podcast section and clicking on the ‘Comedy’ listing on ‘the iTunes’.  Part I & II of the finale will appear on http://www.thinktwiceradio.com by the end of the week.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to everyone who called in and showed up to tear me a new one.  Thanks for making the Finale so memorable.  A very big thank you goes out to Intentionally Bald Mike as well for being such an influential force from the humble beginnings of the show all the way to the end.

Well what the hell are you waiting for?  Download the damn shows already!

Enjoy,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio 67: ‘Tricky Dicks & Pregnant Possibilities’

November 17, 2011

Last night’s show was pitch perfect.  For the final studio episode of The Big Words I  Know By Heart Radio Hour I couldn’t have asked for a better guest, co-host or program.  For four years now producer and Think Twice Radio creator Richard Wicka has kept mostly silent for over 100 shows.  Until now.  Here’s your synopsis:

 

Episode 67: ‘Tricky Dicks & Pregnant Possibilities’

Tom rounds out his last show in the studio with Think Twice Nucleus Richard Wicka and co-host Carl Theil. The boys talk about their love lives, Occupy Wall Street, smelly hippies and an unexpected caller (Greg S.) weighs in without really bringing much to the table.

 

-To hear the show in full audio quality, click on over to:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

-To hear the newest episode along with bonus clips and the entire history of the show, click your way over to:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

-You can also subscribe to the show for free on ‘the iTunes’ by searching Big Words Radio in Podcasts and clicking on the show under the Comedy category.

 

Thanks are in order to Richard Wicka (who was a lot more candid and forthcoming with his answers than I expected), Carl Theil for bringing some class and actual big words to the show and Gregory Sterlace for calling in during the show (a bit of a first for us).  I got a little choked up during the end, but overall it was a magical evening.  Rich, Carl and I have had a lot of great discussions during meals over the years so it was great to finally capture our dynamic on the radio show.

We’re two weeks away from the Big Words Finale Roast, so in the mean time, I hope you enjoy this show as much as we loved doing it.

 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 66: ‘Tight Rope’

October 26, 2011

There are some days you just want to forget.  Yesterday was one of them.  After spending the majority of my birthday hungry and alone, I wasn’t exactly at the top of my game for the show.  Here’s your synopsis:

 

Episode 66: ‘Tight Rope’

Tom and co-host Brian Bogucki stammer through an interview with veteran journalist Joel Meadows, the editor in chief at Trip Wire magazine. Tom laments the worst birthday he’s ever had, Joel rolls with the punches and Brian does his best impression of a mime.

 

To hear the show on Think Twice, here’s your direct link:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

To download the episode with a smaller audio file or to listen to bonus episodes and additional clips, click here:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

You can also subscribe to the show on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ and clicking on the ‘Comedy’ listing.

 

Thanks are in order to Joel Meadows for rolling with the punches for a show that wasn’t our level best.  Thanks also to Brian Bogucki and (as always) producer Richard Wicka for being on board for this disaster.  We’ve got two more shows left.  Join me next month when I sit down with producer Richard Wicka to figure out how and when the program went so horribly wrong.  After that, we’ve got the big finish in early December.

 

Thanks,

Tom

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Big Words Radio Episode 65: ‘Anal Bleaching Changed My Life’

September 8, 2011

While Big Words Radio is winding down for the big farewell in December and I continue to toil away on the autobiography, I find myself more and more nostalgic.  That being said, it was a once in a lifetime treat to have my best friend of over twenty years Ron and our mutual friend and former coworker Mansel on last night for one of the last four or five shows.  Here’s your synopsis:

 

Episode 65: ‘Anal Bleaching Changed My Life’

Tom and his two friends of over 20 years (Ron and Mansel) reminisce about old girlfriends, great asses, getting stoned out of their tree and how Mansel bagged his trophy substitute teacher before the altar.

 

To hear the show in all of its audio glory, click on over to:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

You can also listen to all 95 shows along with bonus clips and out takes at:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

And lest we forget that you can subscribe to the show on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ and clicking on the show under the Comedy listing.

 

Greg Sterlace, Paula Wachowiak and Robb Nesbitt also made a surprise (albeit silent) appearance last night in the studio during the taping, so I’d like to thank them as well for showing up during the tail end of the program.

It’s been decided.  I’ll be holding a Finale show on Friday, December 2nd from 6-8 p.m. and rounding up as many former co-hosts as I can so that we can see the show out in style for a good old fashioned roast.  The site hits and downloads just aren’t what they used to be.  Most of you have tuned out, so it’s time for me to move on to something else.  After four years it depresses me that I have to shut down so soon, but it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore.  Despite this, I’ll be following the year out to its natural conclusion.

I’d like to take a moment to thank my producer Richard Wicka for seeing some sort of promise in me that I haven’t fulfilled.  The show got off on the right foot, but somewhere along the line I took things too far and never regained my composure.

I’d also like to thank Ron and Mansel for coming back into the fold before the show finished up.  It meant a lot to me to link back up with some old friends who have known me for so long.

Back in June of 2008 I tried to come up with a comedy show that was extreme.  Something that pushed the envelope and made people laugh uncomfortably and effortlessly.  I guess I tried to hard and that most of Buffalo didn’t get what I was trying to do or didn’t care.  Whatever the case, it’s over.  Four more months and then the fat lady sings.

 

Please tell a friend or share the link to the show so that we can end on a positive note.

 

Have a great week,

Tom

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Big Words Radio Episode 64 ‘Story Of My Flife’ w/ Greg Sterlace

August 25, 2011

Everything comes to an end eventually.  I spoke with my producer Richard Wicka last night after the studio show and my numbers for The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour are grim, so it looks like I’ll be closing the doors on the show by year’s end.  It saddens me to see my audience disappear, but that’s what’s happening.  The good news to that is that I’ll be doing a farewell show in December and I’m welcoming all of my co-hosts back for the opportunity to roast me one final time.  I’m lobbying Rich to see if we can work out a two hour or two episode show for the occasion.  If you’ve ever co-hosted the show, I encourage you to join me in the studio (or over the phone) one final time for a good lambasting.

Last night’s show was spectacular.  Here’s your synopsis:

 

Episode 64: ‘Story Of My Flife’

Returning guest of honor Greg Sterlace is on the receiving end of a whiskey-less Tom while co-host Timmy C goes for the extra point.

 

To hear the show in full audio quality, click here:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

 

To hear all 94 episodes of Big Words Radio along with the new show, click here:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

You can also subscribe to Big Words Radio for free by searching Big Words Radio on iTunes and clicking on the show listed under Comedy.

 

I’ve got about four more shows and then it’s light’s out on Big Words Radio.  I’m grateful for all of the celebrities, artists, musicians, adult film stars, writers and cartoonists who have brought something fresh to the show.  British journalist Joel Meadows will be calling in for my next studio show in October, so I have that to look forward to as well.

Please listen to the new show and spread the word.  I’m trying to go out on a high note.

 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour Episode 63: ‘But We Digress’ & ‘Sh*t Show: The Bonus Round’

August 11, 2011

A decade ago I used to bust a gut listening to Opie & Anthony on FM Radio.  The shows I loved the most were the ones where they had a gaggle of other comedians on and they’d devote the entire program to just tearing into each other with their claws out while they offended the living shit out of everyone else.  There’s comedy and then there’s a comedian’s comedian.  I’ve strived my entire life to be the latter.  I think we pulled it off on this show and the bonus round was just a hot mess, but still fun to record.  Episode 63 could be the closest embodiment to what I’ve been trying to do with The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour in the entire four years that I’ve been doing it.  Here are your synopses:

 

Episode 63: ‘But We Digress’

 

Tom welcomes back Big Words Radio favorites Gun Nut Brendan along with Intentionally Bald Mike in the co-host hot seat.  The sparks fly when politics are brought up, everyone gets yelled at for setting their two-fisted drinks down on the table and things get really wrong really quick.

 

Sh*t Show: The Bonus Round

 

The gents get hillbilly drunk on Guinnei and cheap whiskey and keep the meter running while they run off at the mouth about politics.

 

You can listen this instant by clicking over to:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

You can also subscribe to the show for free if you want to see us keep going by logging in to your iTunes and choosing Big Words Radio under the Comedy listing in the podcast section.  Please tell a friend, listen in your car or post a link on your own FB page or web site.  This show needs all the help it can get during such a fabulous summer where most people don’t take the time to consider downloading new comedy on the go.  We had a really great time last night.  Shows that fun should be criminal.  Since Think Twice Radio was experiencing technical difficulties you can look forward to hearing a studio show toward the end of this month.  The guest is yet to be determined.  If this is possibly the last year for Big Words Radio I’m going out with a bang instead of a whimper.  Stay tuned.

 

Thanks,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Turning Point

July 26, 2011

The fourth year for Big Words Radio could be the final one.

 

Downloads have been dropping steadily for the last two months.  I like to stay productive, but I don’t see a discernable benefit to putting so many man hours into punching up a prospectus, booking guests and slaving over the production, sound editing, intro and outro music and everything else involved with each show if the audience isn’t there.  This time last year the show was on a roll while it was nearing extinction on Mypodcast.com.  Roll the calendar forward by twelve months and we’re moving in the wrong direction.  I’m not quite sure what’s happening or where my crowd went where the radio show is concerned.  The books are selling better than they ever have.  Site hits here & everywhere else have been blowing up.  The new Twitterverse following is growing exponentially.  Big Words Radio is dying a slow death & it doesn’t make sense.  Like some hosts I could pretend that the show is better than ever, but I deal in facts and abide by honesty.

Here’s what’s going to happen: If I don’t see a marked increase in free subscriptions on iTunes or a spike in downloads on Mevio.com by the end of this summer, the show is over.  It’s that simple.  I’m not going to keep investing what little free time I have into trying to make people laugh with over the top outrageous comedy if you’re not down with the cause.  In for a penny, in for a pound.  Now’s the time to show me if you’re listening because if you’re not, I’m not doing it anymore.  I’ll pick up my toys and go home.

Maybe the podcasting boom has burst.  Maybe all of you are busy this summer (very probable).  Maybe my readers only have so much time that they’re willing to devote to waxing my ego.  I get that.  In case you haven’t noticed though, I deal in absolutes.  If the show isn’t growing, then it’s time to close the door.

My career as a writer is turning a very sharp corner this year in an incredibly positive way that I never imagined it would & it’s all happening this year at a lightning pace.  As a podcaster, not so much.  Half of my life is most likely over, so I’d like to make good use of the next half.  Please let me know how to invest my time wisely.

Some radio hosts and some writers can create without one person reading or listening.  I’m not that kind of person anymore.  I’ve got too many plates in the air to play by those rules.

If you want the show to go on, hop onto iTunes & subscribe to Big Words Radio in the podcast section under the ‘Comedy’ listing.  Download your ass off.  There are almost 92 hours of material that’s pretty damned funny.  It’s been a good run, but it might be time to hang up my hat and say farewell.

If you don’t have an iPod, surf on over to:

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

Download 5 episodes.  Download 92 episodes.  Tell a friend.  Listen in your car.  Please spread the word.  It’s been real and it’s been fun, but this could be the tail end of it.

 

It’s up to you.

Tom Waters

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ArtVoice’s 2011 Best Of Buffalo Nominations/Mockery Promotions Thus Far…

May 1, 2011

After a turbulent week of surprises, promotions and nominations, it’ll be nice to relax for a few days.  The first month of promotions for Mockery is over leaving three months and change for the rest of the scheduled readings and signings.

The Lancaster Public Library reading went off without a hitch and even though the Sabres were busy losing the playoffs, we still had a great turnout with plenty of books sold.  Fellow Monsters Of Verse alumni JR Finlayson made a surprise appearance and read a few selections from his upcoming book Multiples Of Eleven (due out soon).  The evening took an unexpected turn when a few members of the crowd requested (and encouraged) a few passages about manic depression, so I read a piece from First Person, Last Straw along with some of the Jekkyl & Hyde poems from both Breathing Rooms.  Thanks to everyone who attended for making it such an intimate and interesting evening.  I’ll definitely keep the Lancaster Library in mind should Mark McElligott and I decide to promote locally in the fall.

On the same day, Minnesota podcasting great Gary Holdsteady and I recorded Episode 60 of The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour.

You can listen to the show by clicking here:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/278282/episode-60-i-was-hoping-to-get

-Or (as always) you can subscribe to the show for free in the podcast section of iTunes under the ‘Comedy’ category.

Gary and I have been great friends for years and this was one of the few episodes where I didn’t work off of notes or pre-formulated questions.  Our rapport (and his conversational candor) was strong enough that we ad-libbed the entire show with great results.  To hear Gary’s podcast you can listen on iTunes by searching ‘Independant Stream’ or you can listen online by clicking:

http://independentstream.podomatic.com

Thursday proved shocking when ArtVoice announced their 2011 Best Of Buffalo nominees.  Somehow all of you managed to get me on the ballot for their Best Writer category.  The winner hasn’t been announced yet, but regardless of the outcome, I’m deeply grateful to all of you who voted in addition to every one of you who have supported my work for the last ten years by buying a book, making a reading or spreading the word.  I don’t put a lot of stock in contests, but a lot of people look to them to decide what’s hot and what’s not and with the new book out, it can’t hurt to campaign a little bit more.  Keep your fingers crossed and I guess we’ll see who takes home the gold soon enough.

Last night we had a four hour marathon at Don’s Atomic Comics in Depew for ‘Tom’s Atomic Comic Giveaway’ with special guests Mark McElligott (Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind) and Michael Hoffert Jr. (host of ‘It Came From The Longbox’ on http://www.thinktwiceradio.com).  Don and I have done a promotion for every book since Soup To Nuts and his shop is always a favorite destination during the tour.  The sale went great, I recorded a lot of great audio and a few other surprise guests turned up including Monsters Of Verse alumn Carrie Gardner, Monster Matt, John Kindelan and Brian Platter from Six Shot Studios.

The events for this book have been wildly unpredictable compared to previous years.  Te ones I’ve expected to do well haven’t and the ones that I thought would be a waste of time turned out to be anything but.  It’s hard to predict an outcome for anything in Buffalo with so many conflicting events (sporting and otherwise) and such a melting pot of cultural tastes.  Mark McElligott and I are going to keep plugging away until the end of July at a steady pace with our heads up.  Next Saturday (May 7th) I’ll be reading and signing copies of Mockery at the Caz Coffee Café on Abbott Rd. in South Buffalo at 7 p.m.  If you’re free that night I’d love to see you there.

Resting up for the rest of the week,

Tom Waters

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Mockery Live At Maryan’s/Talking Leaves Now In Stock!

April 19, 2011

Saturday was a banner reading for Mockery at Maryan’s.  Even after a losing Sabres playoff game, the crowd was into the material right from the jump and the laughs were legion within minutes.  I’ve been telling Mark McElligott (who’s gearing up for his own slate of readings soon enough) that the events you’re positive will do well often don’t and the ones you never expect to succeed end up surprising you.  It’s always a crap shoot and you can’t predict any one promotion, so the best thing to do is try everything once and stick with what works.  Due to the great audio (and the great crowd), I’ve posted two separate concert shows up on Mevio as well as iTunes.  Here are your synopses:

‘In The Crease: Mockery Live At Maryan’s’: Tom takes to the stage after a losing playoff game for the Buffalo Sabres at Maryan’s in Depew and by some miracle manages to win the crowd over.

-To hear the above episode on Mevio, click on this link:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/276964/in-the-crease-mockery-live-at-maryan

 

‘Love Those Water Boys’: Dave ‘The Real Deal’ Waters rocks out his first live musical set in almost two years at Maryan’s in Depew.

-To hear Dave’s half of the concert, click here:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/276963/love-those-water-boys

As always, you can subscribe to The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour on ‘the iTunes’ by searching Big Words Radio and clicking on the show listed under Comedy.  If you’re a current subscriber, then you already have both episodes!

Thanks so much to Dave ‘The Real Deal’ Waters, Nance, Sam, Val, Mike and the rest of the spectacular staff as well as the crowd at Maryan’s.  If every reading and signing went that well I’d never stop touring!  There are no promotional events this week since it’s Easter week, but I’ll be gearing back up again next Tuesday the 26th at the Lancaster Public Library (7:30 p.m.) and then Don’s Atomic Comics on Saturday, April 30th for my Tom’s Atomic Comic Giveaway promotion from 8 p.m. to midnight!  The book promotions at Don’s always have a special place in my heart because a) I’ve done something there for every single book I’ve released, b) it’s always a great time and c) I’ll make a boat load of cash!  To hear how the last promotion went (Tom’s Atomic Poetry Cliffhanger), you can click on:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/166205/episode-xxx-tom-s-atomic-poetry-cliffhanger

and:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/166196/tom-s-atomic-poetry-cliffhanger-the-shocking

And finally, Mockery is now available at both Talking Leaves books locations, so if you live in the city and you can’t make it out to any of the suburban events, feel free to pick up the new book at the Main Street or Elmwood locations.  Talking Leaves has been another long time friend for every single book over the years.  While it’s a hassle to set up some promotions, Atomic Don and Jonathan at Talking Leaves have never needed more than a phone call to iron out a date and time and for that I’m grateful.

I hope you all enjoy your Easter and perhaps I’ll see you out on the road next week!

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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‘Tom Waters Mocks You’ in ArtVoice Daily, AV’s ‘Best Of Buffalo’ Awards

April 3, 2011

Artvoice Managing Editor Geoff Kelly was kind enough to punch up a quick and engaging blurb (with cover photo) about the new book online for their ‘ArtVoice Daily’ section.  To view Geoff’s write-up (with one of the more scathing samples from the book), click over to:

http://blogs.artvoice.com/avdaily/2011/04/01/tom-waters-mocks-you/

Thank you to Geoff and ArtVoice for the wonderful mention.  And again, I’m asking all of you to take the time and (if you’re willing), vote for me for Best Writer and Best Radio Personality in ArtVoice’s ‘Best Of Buffalo’ Awards.  Every little bit of promotion helps for Mockery and AV has a lock on the downtown Buffalo audience.  Please consider me for these two crucial categories by logging in at:

http://best.artvoice.com

This isn’t an ego thing.  I’ve never officially ‘run’ for either category before, but with the new book out, winning (or even being considered) would be a great help.  And finally, if you’d like to hear ‘Stop The Press!’, my interview with Geoff Kelly from Big Words Radio (way back in August of 2008), click over to:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/164954/episode-ix-stop-the-press

Have a great week and I’ll talk to you all soon,

Tom

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Big Words Radio Episode 58: ‘Your Own Personal White-Out’

March 20, 2011

Okay, this episode was just plain wrong, there’s no two ways about it.  This month (for the radio show) has been a real rollercoaster ride of comedy between the ‘Huge Stuff I Rember From Repetition Dude On The Move Station’, and the comedic brutality unleashed upon Mark McElligott.  It’s in everyone’s best interests if we all just have some quiet time to ourselves to reflect on what we’ve done and who we’ve wronged until Fantagraphics journeyman Mark Kalesniko enters stage right in April to talk about his new masterpiece Freeway. For the time being, here’s your synopsis:

Episode 58: ‘Your Own Personal White-Out’

Tom sits down with Doubt It Publishing Author Of The Year Mark McElligott (Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind) and tears him a new one.  In addition, they make some cheap wisecracks about previous co-host Terry Kimmel, statutory rape and the mentally handicapped.  All in all a good show.

To hear the new show this instant click your way to victory at:

http://www.bigwordsmevio.com

-or you can just subscribe right now for free by searching ‘big words radio’ at ‘the iTunes’ store and clicking on the Comedy listing.

The show has toned down a bit in previous months so it was refreshing to have a guest on who I was positive about being able to handle a relentless barrage of jokes that were far beyond wrong.  This is literally the worst show I’ve done on an offensiveness scale since July of 2009, so it was a treat to take the kid gloves off and go to town on an unsuspecting mark (in this case, Mark).

A big thanks goes out to Mark McElligott for being such a great sport.  In addition to getting a taste of what you can expect from his upcoming debut collection Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind, the two of us will be hitting Buffalo with a vengeance this summer to promote both of our books together in a reading frenzy.  Please click, download, subscribe, laugh, rate high and enjoy.  I’m taking a well-deserved break from podcasting until mid-April.

Enjoying long, sticky white donuts,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 56: Straight Up Gangsta

March 11, 2011

Episode 56 Synopsis:

T-Rex, J-Dog and Chromey drop the knowledge on that dude who was in Wall Street on that tv show, that politician who took his shirt off for dudes who were really chicks and how the man is trying to bring us all down.

Give it a listen right now at:

http://www.mevio.com/episode/272473/episode-56-straight-up-gangsta

Thanks to Chrome Dome Mike for ‘bringing the heat’ and J-Dog for rolling with the punches.  This episode was EPIC, yo.  One love.

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Miscellaneous

February 8, 2011

            A lot of projects are in the planning stages currently and it’s more a matter of juggling and strategy than inspiration and execution.  Book 9 (Mockery) is in the last legs of pre-production and designer Eve Barbour and I are aiming for a hard April launch.  I’ve always been fond of doing book launches on April Fool’s Day (which falls on a Friday this year), so don’t be surprised if you hear about a large public event and bookstore insertion then.  At $15, it’s the lowest launch price of any rant collection I’ve ever released, so I’ll be shooting for volume rather than profit margin. 

            After that, Mark McElligott and I will be going into pre-production on his book, Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind while we schedule appearance dates at the same time.  We’re looking at a summer release date for his book around the same price point.  While Mark’s never published a book before, he’s got a diverse back ground in music, cartooning and stand-up comedy that should translate well on stage once he gets up and running.

            As for the radio show, Eisner and Harvey award winner Dylan Horrocks (Hicksville) will be talking to me and co-host Terry Kimmel on Thursday, February 24th.  Mark McElligott returns as my guest in March and in April I’ll be discussing the hilarious and often controversial books of Mark Kalesniko (Alex, Mail Order Bride). 

            After agonizing over how and when to release the autobiography (Icarus On The Mend), I’m leaning towards publishing a limited print run of 100 hardcover first editions in 2012 for around $29.95 with no complimentary copies for the local or national media included.  Everyone who knows about the book wants to get their hands on it right away, so I might as well give you all what you want.  Once those hundred are gone, I’ll release two volumes of trade paperbacks for $15 each with complementing photo negative covers and possibly an additional chapter. 

            As for the third poetry collection (Poke The Scorpion With A Sharp Stick), I’m not sure how to gauge demand for the book, so don’t be surprised if it’s released alongside one of the autobiography print runs.  While both Breathing Rooms reached (and exceeded) the 100 copy mark, they’re more a labor of love than a concerted business decision.  Poetry is a tough sell in any market, so I was glad to net over $2000 on the first two in the first year.  The third collection will be the last for a long time, so hopefully readers will enjoy the aftermath to Breathing Room by realizing that the content is new and unusual, not just scraps left over from the first two books. 

            I’ve never had this much material on the slate before at any one time.  Hopefully by 2013 I can buy back the rights to Born Pissed and Zany Hijinx, relaunch them with better cover designs, tighter editing and a lower price point.  If there’s one single piece of advice I can offer budding writers, it’s this: Don’t publish with America House.  There’s no reason why you should give 90% of your royalties away to a publisher for a manuscript that you put 100% of your effort and inspiration into. 

            It’s a bittersweet situation to be in.  I’ve got three years before I have to write another word.  I’m considering writing a novel, but for the time being I’m going to rest and relax since this is the calm before the promotional storm.  Thank you for reading and supporting my work.  People often ask me ‘Do you make any money off of your books?’ and my answer is always that I wouldn’t keep putting them out if I didn’t.  From a fiscal standpoint, 2011 is going to be a great year to make money while making people laugh at the same time.

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Big Words Radio Presents The Busted Stuff Boxed Trifecta!

January 28, 2011

Yesterday was an incredible day across the board.  Dave Abbatoy, Cynthia McCaffrey, co-host Mark McElligot and I really had a blast together recording the interview portion of the show at my Lancaster grotto.  Some rough questions were asked and they weathered them out like champs.  I got both of their last names wrong and they brushed right past it like true professionals.

Shortly after taping the interview, the four of us skedaddled down to Dee’s Firehouse in Depew, where Dave and Cynthia gave a once-in-a-lifetime performance to a packed house.  Former co-hosts Zombie Chris, Diabetes Dave and Charles ‘Chezzie’ Amabile were all in attendance along with a large cast of good friends and thirty patrons.

 

Here are your synopses:

 

Episode 54: Maccatoy Vs. Nixon

In less than an hour, Tom manages to f#*$k up both Dave and Cynthia (Busted Stuff’s) last names while offending everyone in the room in addition to his wife.  Pitch-hitter co-host Mark McElligott delivers the ‘opening shot’ and the gang gets misty about Buffalo music while Tom considers stapling the back of his wife’s head.

 

Episode 53: Busted Stuff Live At Dee’s Firehouse (pt.I): The Devil Went Down To Depew

Busted Stuff opens with a scorching set to an increasingly packed house at Dee’s Firehouse on Thursday, January 27th, 2010.  Tom and his cohorts manage to drain four pitchers, a score of finger sandwiches, a double of wings and more than a few doubles of whiskey.  The crowd rejoices.

 

Episode 52: Busted Stuff Live At Dee’s Firehouse (pt.II): Bringing It All Back Home

Dave Abbatoy and Cynthia McCaffrey bring it home for the two point conversion with a once in a lifetime set list of covers, fan favorites, Tom’s favorite version of Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’ and a live version of their award-winning Live Lake Local Music Compilation song ‘Pray To Rain’.

 

A huge thanks goes out to Dave and Cynthia from Busted Stuff for contributing so much of their time and talent to a free show as well as my off-color sense of humor.  Thanks also to Dee, Jim, Cathy, Melissa and the rest of the gang at Dee’s Firehouse for hosting their event at their fantastic bar and restaurant.  If local bands or artists contact me in the future (and believe me, they will), I’d love to do it again at Dee’s.  Thanks are in order to Mark McElligott for co-hosting with a week’s notice and everyone who showed up for the show, ordered drinks and food en masse and helped to make the night one to remember.  So when can you listen to these historic episodes on ‘the iTunes’, you may ask?  They’re already posted.  I rushed home after the show, produced all three and uploaded them before I conked out for the night, so search ‘Big Words Radio’ on iTunes (the show listed under Comedy, NOT Literature), subscribe and rate high!  If you don’t have ‘the iTunes’, you can just as easily hear all three shows over at:

www.bigwords.mevio.com

 

Have a great rest of the week and I’ll talk to you all again in late February when I interview graphic artist/writer Dylan Horrocks with co-host Terry Kimmel!

Tom Waters

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Two From The Vault/MOV Legacy/Busted Stuff Countdown

January 18, 2011

     They say everything happens for a reason.  Well, two weeks ago all I wanted to do was put the new Elton John/Leon Russell album onto my iPod.  Due largely to my technical ignorance, my new computer or Apple’s stringent sharing policies, I had to wipe my entire iPod and start from scratch.  After a week, I got all of my songs back on there and then some.  In the following week, I figured out how to get Big Words Radio back onto ‘the iTunes’ through their approval process and got all of those episodes back on, too. 

            You can now subscribe to The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour on iTunes by searching Big Words radio and clicking on the show listed under the ‘Comedy’ category.  The ‘Literature’ show is outdated, so I’m working on having it taken down.  As of today, the show has received over 984 downloads in 16 days this month.  That’s pretty damned good. 

            Within the past week, I’ve uploaded all 14 of the original Monsters Of Verse shows onto their own individual site.  Apple should be approving that within the next few days, so keep an eye out for it if you have an interest in poetry and comedy.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been over three years since JR Finlayson, Carrie Gardner and myself set out into the Buffalo wild to spread our wings as a traveling literary triumvirate.  Maybe it’s time for a reunion. 

            As an added incentive, I also culled the last existing episode (#58) of The Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal that I co-hosted on.  Hal has moved on to other areas of interest and claims that the show is over and that he’s moving on in his life.  While this saddens me (as well as many others), I was glad to be a part of the angry magic that took place every time Hal created a new episode, and I wouldn’t be a show host at all without him, so for that I am grateful.

            And last (but definitely not least), I spoke with my uncle last week and got his permission to post his debut album online.  For the first time in 25 years, Dick Lobdell’s ‘Thank You Very Much’ is available as a free download on iTunes!  Here’s the synopsis for his music site:

            From the late ’60s throughout the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and today, country singer Dick Lobdell brought country and bluegrass to Buffalo, NY, playing at bars, juke joints, honky tonks, dance halls and concerts. He continues to perform across the country to this day. This web site is devoted to sharing that love of Country and Western music with a wider audience along with Dick’s one-of-a-kind voice, journeyman guitar playing and incomparable passion.

            You can listen to the album online directly by visiting http://www.dicklobdell.mevio.com.  You can also download the album on iTunes by searching ‘Dick Lobdell’.  My uncle and I have been talking back and forth and he has some other rare live footage that we’ll be posting in the future.  As soon as it’s up, I’ll let you all know. 

            We’re also about a week away from the big Busted Stuff show at Dee’s Firehouse in Depew, so don’t forget!  It’s next Thursday (the 27th) at 6 p.m.  They’ll be playing a 90 minute set of mostly original material from their upcoming debut album and we’ll be posting the two-part show on Big Words Radio shortly afterwards.  Busted Stuff is excited.  Dee and the rest of the gang at the Firehouse are excited.  I’m pumped.  You don’t want to miss what will arguably be the best free show of 2011, so mark your calendar, call your sitter and put on your dancing shoes!

            With two books in the can and one on the way, I’ve got a two year lease on life to do whatever the hell I want creatively.  For the time being, I’m going to work on expanding the listener base for Big Words Radio and continue to strive towards great new experiments in audio and comedy.  It’s time to welcome a legion of new fans into the fold. 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Racks Up The Downloads!

January 10, 2011

2011 is already shaping up to be one hell of a year.  I checked the download stats for The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour and for the month of December there were 1087 downloads on Mevio.com alone!  The Think Twice Radio site had an uptick in traffic as well, garnering 240,177 unique site hits along with 8,951 visits to the site.  What does this mean?  This means that the show is kicking ass!  I still have no idea where all of this traffic is coming from but I’m not complaining.

I urge those of you who listen to shoot me an email at: bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com with your geographical location along with a brief description of how you came across the show. You can also phone your comments or impressions of the show in at (716) 823-1750.  The next studio show is at the end of February (with New Zealand writer/artist Dylan Horricks) and I would love to air some phone calls during the show.  Do you want to hear your voice on the air?  Do you want to plug your band, book, business or project or possibly make your way onto the show as a future guest?  Calling or emailing is a quick and easy way to do so.

I’ve also heard from some of you that Big Words Radio is no longer available on iTunes.  This simply isn’t true.  While the site was shut down on mypodcast.com, there’s a quick and easy way to switch feeds and download all 69 episodes of the show.  I did some homework today and Big Words Radio is indeed still on iTunes. If you go to http://www.bigwords.mevio.com/, just click on ‘subscribe on iTunes’ near the icon on the right hand side. You’ll be able to download any or all episodes onto your iPod within minutes.

We’re also less than two weeks away from what will surely prove to be a historic ‘parter of two’ at Dee’s Firehouse on January 27th at 6 p.m.  Dee’s is located at 4628 Broadway Avenue in Depew NY just minutes away from Transit Rd. on the corner of Broadway and Lackawanna Ave.  2010 Buffalo Night Life Music Award winners for Best Rock Duo Busted Stuff will be playing a free concert while I record the event for inclusion on Big Words Radio.  We’re all collectively putting the word out, so this concert is going to be a real barn-burner.  Mark your calendar, tell all your friends and for god’s sakes, take off of work the following day because this show is going to be epic!

Thanks for listening, thanks for downloading and thanks for spreading the word about Big Words Radio.  Please take the time to email or (better yet) call in with a quick impression on the show.  I really appreciate your support.  If it wasn’t for so many listeners, I probably never would have come back from my self-imposed hiatus.  Here’s to a bright, beautiful future for Big Words Radio!

 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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2011: Veni, Vedi, Veci (‘I came, I saw, I conquered’)

January 2, 2011

Happy New Year everybody!

            2011 is going to be an incredibly busy year for myself and Doubt It Publishing.  I’m not even sure where to begin, but I guess we’ll proceed chronologically.

            The deadline for Doubt It Publishing’s Author Of The Year has come and gone and it’s time to make the announcement.  I’m proud to let you all know that I’ve chosen Mark McElligott’s Random Thoughts From A Broken Mind for publication this year.  It’s an uproariously funny collection of hilarious, ‘out there’ rants that made me laugh out loud on multiple occasions.  His sense of humor is a blend of Woody Allen, Dave Attell and Steve Martin.  He’s goofy, perverse and tremendously talented and we’re both looking forward to showcasing his work to a much larger audience this spring!    

            I’ve got a full slate of new bar assignments for the Buffalo News Gusto that I’ll be knocking out at a rate of one bar per week.  After reviewing The Dog House in Alden, I was saddened to discover that they closed until further notice before I had time to do the write up.  My condolences to the owners as well as the staff there for the unfortunate incident that led to their shutting down.  I had a wonderful time when I went and there was a roofing accident a week later that led to their demise. 

            At the end of this month (on Thursday, January 27th at 6 p.m.), The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour will be recording live on location by hosting a free concert with 2010 Buffalo Music Award winners for Best Rock Duo Of The Year Busted Stuff at Dee’s Firehouse on 4628 Broadway Ave. in Depew.  If you’re free, we’d love to see you at this event!  Dave and Cynthia are great people and they’re incredibly talented, so I look forward to hearing them play again.  They’re also launching a debut CD of original music around the same time frame, so hopefully they’ll have copies on hand to sell.

            As far as my autobiography goes, the first draft is finished.  Icarus On The Mend: Memoirs Of A Manic Depressive clocks in at a hefty 430 pages (so far) and if the book gets any larger upon revision, I may have to split it into two volumes from a cost standpoint.  I’d prefer not to charge more than $30 for the book in a soft cover format, so that could be the direction I take when the book is released in either 2012 or 2013.   The book is unlike anything I’ve written before, and while I’ve been guarding the manuscript for its explosive content and the cacophony of sensational revelations within, I’ll be auctioning off the second draft this spring.  The current bid is at $50.  If you want to read the book before it comes out, feel free to email me with a bid before spring.

            In February, I’ll be interviewing artist/writer Dylan Horrocks (Hicksville), who hails all the way from New Zealand.  This will be a studio show for The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour.  His breakout book was just republished this previous summer from Fantagraphics press and it’s one of the best graphic novels I’ve ever read.  Don will be co-hosting with me.

            By April, my ninth collection (Mockery) will launch online and in stores.  It’s a 130 page collection of nothing but finely tuned rants and the book is layered like a stand up comedy act.  This is the first book where I’ve worked diligently on the pacing of the humor throughout the book and the effect on readers should be noticeably different and vastly improved.  It’ll retail for $14.99 and while I never say never, this may be my final essay collection.  Eve Barbour (of Eve Barbour Designs) will be working on the cover layout and interior and Ryan Miller took the cover photo (a black and white picture of me laughing at a little girl who dropped her ice cream cone).  I’ve started working on a fiction novel which I’m not prepared to discuss in any capacity yet as the work is still fresh. 

            I’m not sure what the back half of 2011 will hold for me, Doubt It Publishing, Mark McElligot and The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour, but I’m certainly looking forward to it.  This is going to be a great year and I look forward to taking the journey with all of you.  As always, stay tuned to the web sites for more details as they emerge.  To sum everything up, get ready to laugh.  A lot. 

Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 51: ‘Altered States’

December 18, 2010

 

Tom and co-host ‘Stoner Steve’ dial editor, publisher, author and musician Wil Forbis up on ‘the Skype’ to talk about their collective illicit drug use, Wil’s magazine (Acid Logic), Wil’s band (Wil Forbis & The Gentleman Scoundrels) and a variety of other topics about the West Coast, pop culture and who can blow any of them.
 
To hear the show in full audio quality, feel free to click on over to:
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
or to hear the show along with ALL of my previous episodes, you can visit:
http://www.bigwords.mevio.com
 
    A big thanks goes out to Wil Forbis for publishing me for over a decade and for agreeing to be on the show.  Thanks also to Richard Wicka for recording and producing this episode as well as accommodating our multiple drinks situation in studio.  Thanks to Stoner Steve for lending some comedic value to the show and hanging on to the experience for dear life. 
    My next guests will be Buffalo Music Award ‘Best Duo Act Of 2010’ Busted Stuff.  We’re recording a live concert on location at Dee’s Firehouse on Thursday, January 27th around 5 p.m.  Mark your calendar and meet us out there for the fun!
 
Thanks,
Tom Waters 

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Big Words Radio Episodes 49 & 50: 2010 Buffalo Nightlife Music & Club Awards

December 10, 2010

Episode 50: ‘Night Life Music Awards pt.II’ or  ‘Mullets, Drooping Cleavage, Love Socks & Flaccid Roast Beef Platters’

            On Thursday, December 9th, Tom and co-host Minnick attended the 2010 Buffalo Night Life Music & Club Awards at Page’s Paradise Island in the technical Town of Depew, NY.  Tom talks with Ed Honeck (the publisher and sometimes editor of Night Life), Dave and Cynthia (from Busted Stuff), Tom’s Top 5 fantasy diva Lana (Black Widow), Gregg Sansonne, Frank Pussieteri (Only Frank.com), Gregg Sansonne, professional audiovisual freelancer Chuck Eckert, and Dave Koestner (Night Life).  Minnick’s worthlessness as a contributing co-host worsens while Tom gets ‘the high hat’ treatment from bartenders and shrinking violets alike.  Bands Copperhead and Vince Vega rock it out in the background.

Episode 49: ‘Night Life Music Awards Pt.I’, or ‘Objects In Front Of Us May Be Larger Than They Appear’ or ‘Third Person, No Straw’ or ‘Balloons, Bottle Blondes & Ihmotep’

            The wacky antics continue as Tom speaks with Sam Gigas (Elmwood Lounge and King’s Court).  Tom and Minnick ogle barely legal boob action, Welcome Back Kotter hair and reptilians wearing bizarre hats of all shapes and sizes.  Gregg Sansonne and Ed Honeck dish a smidgeon more during buckets of gin & tonic, shit gets crazy and Tom plans an escape route before being detained for public drunkenness.  Margo, a Lockport ‘cougar’ relentlessly hits on Tom and Minnick and Video Pix gets a free plug.  Everyone keeps asking Tom for a card and he continues to demonstrate his unprofessionalism while shamelessly plugging his books.  The boys ignore the ceremonies, log on to ‘The Facebook’, check out shambling mummies with button hats and Tom shoves things in Minnick’s mouth.  Busted Stuff bust out a stellar rendition of Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’ and Tom rounds out the night in the top echelon with old time pal Ed Honeck. 
 
     Minnick and I had an absolute blast last night.  Thanks to Minnick (a much better co-host this time around), Ed Honeck and everyone who contributed their time and talents to the event.  To hear both shows in full audio, click on:
    http://www.bigwords.mevio.com 
    If you haven’t signed up yet, it only takes a minute to do so.  The iTunes site is down for the time being, so this is the only way you’ll be able to hear both shows until I post on Think Twice Radio next Friday.  
    Enjoy!
    Tom Waters    
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Big Words Radio Episode XXXXVI: ‘Peep Show’ with Joe Matt!

December 10, 2009

Better late than never….

After a scheduling snafu with guest Joe Matt (without a home computer, he didn’t have time to check the original date at the library), we reconvened the phone interview at Think Twice yesterday on December 8th. This worked out well, as one of my original co-hosts dropped out (Ian Chrystal) due to the fact that he moved to New Orleans and my other original co-host (Don from Don’s Atomic Comics) couldn’t make the original studio date. During the interim, former Monster Of Verse and gifted comic writer artist in his own right Kyle Kaczmarzcyk (The Red Eye) joined the co-hosting team for the show and brought his own brand of spiced summer sausage into the mix. At any rate, here’s your synopsis:

Episode XXXXVI: ‘Peep Show’ : Tom and dual co-hosts Don (from Don’s Atomic Comics) and Kyle Kaczmarczyk pick mythic writer artist Joe Matt’s brain (Spent, The Poor Bastard, Fair Weather) about his next graphic novel project, the future of the comics industry, digital inking and Viewmaster Reels.

To hear the show in full audio quality, click your way over to: http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html  

If you want to listen to the show in addition to bonus episodes, sound clips and pretty pictures, park your butt over at: http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com

…and you can still subscribe to the show for free on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ under your podcast browser.

…and finally, you can rate the show, become a fan, or post comments on individual episodes over at: http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

A big thanks goes out to Joe Matt for rolling with the punches during the show, Drawn & Quarterly Publishers for putting me in touch, Don for peppering the show with glowing praise, Kyle for continuing to tolerate my abuse, and producer Richard Wicka for playing ringmaster during the proceedings. I’d also like to bid a fond farewell to Ian Chrystal and his lovely girlfriend Rachel now that they’ve uprooted. We’re going to miss you, your pithy commentary and your surly demeanor.

My next studio date is at the beginning of February and I’m hard at work on booking a quality guest. Don and I both talked on the ride home about finding a happy balance on the show between completely over-the-top offensive comedy and an informative interview talk-show format. Obviously, I’m still working on that. Stay tuned for more episodes. I’m sure I can fit one in some time in January if the right guest(s) pop up…..

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode XXXXV: ‘Segway’ with Canto V, countdown to Joe Matt!

December 1, 2009

I had some difficulties posting this show, but after ironing out some kinks with the bit rate, it finally posted today:

Episode XXXXV Synopsis:Wherein the Big Words One Man Mobile Unit hangs with progressive metal-heads Canto V during a rehearsal for an upcoming sold-out concert at Club Diablo. Tom bumps his head on the basement ceiling, refers to drummer Eric Dietz by the wrong name and finds multiple occasions to insult returning co-host Jeff Schmithe.

-To tune in, click on over to http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com. You can also subscribe for free to Big Words Radio on ‘the iTunes’.

This is a super-sized episode clocking in at an hour and seven minutes, so there wasn’t any room for intro/outro music. Thanks to Diabetes Dave and the rest of the band for a great concert. If you have a chance, check them out this Friday (December 4th) at Club Diablo!
And speaking of shows, we’re just three days away from comic icon Joe Matt! Tune in this Thursday night for what’s sure to be an entertaining hour with the offbeat artist/writer behind Spent, Fair Weather and The Poor Bastard.

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Big Words Radio Episode XXXXIV: ‘Two Rooms At The End Of The World’

October 26, 2009
There’s an interesting story behind this one…
Initially, I tried to secure comic wunderkinds Mike Carey OR Joe Matt for the show.  By some quirk of fate, writer Mike Carey AND artist Peter Gross (Unwritten, Lucifer) agreed to a dual interview.  To top it all off, Joe Matt agreed to the next studio show on December 3rd!  Here is your synopsis:
Episode XXXXIV: ‘Two Rooms At The End Of The World’
Tom talks with Eisner-Award winning writer Mike Carey and Eisner-Award winning artist Peter Gross about their new best-selling DC/Vertigo series ‘The Unwritten’. Co-host Jeff Schmithe shows up and fails terribly.
To hear the show in full audio quality, click on: http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
For the show and a cover photo from Unwritten, visit: http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com
You can also subscribe to the show by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ under the Podcasts section on ‘the iTunes’.
Thanks to Mike and Peter for coordinating the interview even with the time difference in England.  Thanks also to Ian Chrystal for an assist on the Q&A where artistic questions are concerned.  I’d also like to wish producer Richard Wicka a happy birthday.
Tune in on December 3rd for Joe Matt with co-hosts Don and Ian from DON’S ATOMIC COMICS!
Thanks,
Tom Waters
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Big Words Radio ‘Parter Of Two’ With Reverse Vector!

September 29, 2009

            After a less than optimal recording session at Faso’s in August, Pheonix Resistance disbanded.  And like a pheonix rising from the ashes, Johnny Pharaoh (the Artist formerly known as Johnny Berlin) formed a new band (Reverse Vector) and we went back to the drawing board to record two new shows live from Club Lobdell on location at Rushford Lake with special outspoken guest Auntie Linda!  Here are your synopses:

 

Episode XXXXII: ‘Reverse Vector Live At Club Lobdell!’

Johnny Pharaoh (the Artist formerly known as Johnny Berlin) and Tyler Christian of the newly formed super band Reverse Vector rock out with their scotch cocks out at the luxurious Club Lobdell located on ‘this Lake Of Rushford’.

 

Episode XXXXIII: ‘Auntie Linda Strikes Back!’

In Part One of a ‘parter of two’ that will rock your partials out, Tom interviews band life partners Johnny Pharoah and Tyler Christian of the newly formed Reverse Vector at ground zero in Club Lobdell on Rushford Lake. Like an insidious venereal disease, Auntie Linda rears her ugly head and bares her scotch-soaked claws towards her only son…

 To hear both shows, click on over to:

http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com

-or-

http://www.bigwords.mevio.com

-You can also subscribe to the show for free on ‘the iTunes’ by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ in the podcasts section.

     Thanks to Johnny, Tyler and Auntie Linda for knocking one out of the park the second time around.  Linda definitely brought more hilarity to the table that we wouldn’t have if we published the first two shows. 

            My next Think Twice in-studio date is on Thursday, October 22nd at 7 p.m.  I’m still working on a celebrity guest, but there are a few avenues I’m exploring.  It’s going to be tough to top John Valby, but I’m sure as hell going to try.  Have a great week,

            Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode XXXXI: ‘Sing, F&%#in’ Sing!’ with guest John Valby

August 29, 2009
What a great show yesterday!  It took a lot of prep work and more than a few emails back and forth, but it was worth it.  Here’s your synopsis:
 
Episode XXXXI: ‘Sing, F&%#in’ Sing!’
Tom and co-host Lindsay 2 talk to Buffalo legend John ‘Dr. Dirty’ Valby about marriage, politics and an internship in boob autographs.
 
    To listen to the episode on Think Twice, click your way over to:
    http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
    To hear the show on the official Big Words Radio site (accompanied by an adorable photo of John),
    click on over to:http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com
    or subscribe for FREE on iTunes by searching ‘Big Words Radio’ in the Podcast section. 
    You can also hear the episode later this weekend at: http://www.bigwords.mevio.com
    
    A big thanks goes out to John Valby as well as John’s manager Paul Lamanna for helping to put this interview together.  John was a treat to interview, tremendously down to earth, and hilarious in everyday conversation.  Another big thanks goes out to Lindsay 2 for stepping up to the plate admirably as a co-host as well as her husband Nico for making frequent beer runs during the taping of the episode.  Thanks also to Richard Wicka at Think Twice for smoothing me out when I went into freakout mode shortly after 7 p.m. when the phone wasn’t ringing.
    What the hell are you waiting for?  Dial up the show on your intraweb already!
    Tom Waters
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Monday Big Words Update! Post Infringement/Pre-Pheonix Resistance

August 3, 2009

 Whelp, last week was interesting. 

The Kahle & Co. radio show went very well last Wednesday on 1340 AM.  Brian Kahle and myself riffed away, talked about the new book, and of course, I worked in more plugs than I should have.  Thanks are in order to Brian for being kind (or daring) enough to have me on the show again.  While Lockport is a bit of a hike, he’s got a very loyal audience and I always appreciate their time.

The 5th annual Buffalo Infringement Festival also wrapped up over the weekend and I had an interesting time reading at Nobody’s Art Space on Elmwood and Forest.  A special thanks goes out to Josh Smith and the rest of the Infringement organizers for giving me the freedom to either read or set up a table at my scheduled events.  Josh also got a five minute sound byte out of me for his own radio show, ‘The Way Up’, which you can listen to at thinktwiceradio.com or on ‘the iTunes’. 

This upcoming Friday, I’ll be recording a ‘parter of two’ at Faso’s Grateful Bear & Grill on 1506 Abbott Rd. in Lackawanna.  The event?  None other than The Pheonix Resistance (whom all of you got to hear first-hand at the Big Words Radio Anniversary party) performing a live concert at Faso’s!  I’ll be interviewing Johnny Berlin and the rest of the band before the show itself and the band will start tearing it up some time around 9 p.m.  Tickets will be $3 at the door, so if you want to be part of the next Big Words Radio Show, stop on out!

Speaking of events (nudge nudge), we’re less than a month away from the official Slapstick & Superego Book Release Party at Magruder’s Restaurant on Saturday, August 29th from 6 p.m.-10 p.m.  If you haven’t marked your calendars yet, please do so now.  Attendance is free but book purchases ($19.99) are strongly encouraged. 

And finally, the new issue of Night Life hits stands today with Part 1 of  ‘A Preacher, A Minister And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bank At The Same Time’, the religious tirade I read on Episode XXXIV of Big Words Radio. 

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print this week.  I’ll talk to you all in a few days,

Tom Waters

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Monday Big Words Update! Convergence

July 13, 2009

            Thank GOD I’ve got a word processing program again.  After six weeks without one, I’m surprised that I made it without clawing the walls like DeSade.  The only problem is that I’m blocked now, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing considering that there’s a lot of other things that need immediate attention.

            I’ll be devoting most of my free time this week to a) working on the Buffalo Anthology now that the final deadline came and went, b) writing a review on Kyle Kaczmarzcyk’s newly released Red Eye trade paperback (for ordering info visit: http://www.zombieworx.com), c) meeting on Tuesday with a certain Lancaster establishment regarding a late August book launch for Slapstick & Superego (and not the place you’d think), and d) porting the radio show over to some new sites. 

            At the risk of confusing the hell out of everybody, the stat tracker on mypodcast.com. has gone haywire and isn’t recording the amount of downloads performed since the beginning of June.  This is a serious issue and it doesn’t appear as if anyone is monitoring the site for maintenance purposes.  So if it’s not too much trouble (or if you haven’t heard the original shows yet), I’d prefer it if you listened to the show at either http://www.bigwordsradio.podomatic.com or http://www.bigwords.mevio.com.  After signing up and uploading to about two dozen sites in the last week, though, Mevio appears to be the site where I’ll be permanently moving my base of operations.  They’ve got unlimited space, easy upload interface, and a lot of other positive factors in their favor.  The podomatic site is restricted in terms of space, so I’ll be uploading one classic Big Words show per week and phasing out the oldest one if you feel like subscribing from there.  This whole process should take about a month to complete. 

            As for the official web site (http://www.tomfoolery4.wordpress.com) the unique hits took a sharp uphill climb yesterday to the tune of 90 unique hits (with the majority of hits coming from the Mitchell’s Tavern fiasco).  Stats are important to me because I like to see what shows and posts are getting play and which ones aren’t.  I also broke down and joined Twitter, so if you want to add me, you can find me under tomfoolery4. 

            Okay, enough technical mumbo jumbo.  Thanks for all the feedback on last week’s Quixote Wednesday post.  The general consensus is that I should keep bitching when I feel like it, so if I’ve got a bone to pick on a Wednesday, I’ll post it.  If I don’t, I’ll write some time later in the week just to check in with you.  Sound good?   Fair enough.

            That’s really all I’ve got for you this week.  Scoop up Night Life magazine this week for ‘Beating The Shakes’, a summer repeat about the evils of coffee addiction.  Cross your fingers for me tomorrow and hopefully I’ll have an announcement on the S & S launch! 

            Have a great week,

            Tom Waters

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Monday Big Words Update! Recognition, Expansion & Promotion

July 6, 2009
What a difference a few days make!
    Brian Meyer from The Buffalo News was kind enough to let me know that ‘Cherish Your Freedom On Independence Day’ (the My View piece that ran on July 4th) was their #1 article on buffalonews.com for July 4th and the better part of July 5th!  I was hoping that the article would strike a chord with readers, but I had no idea it would hit home with so many!  I was astonished last year when I found out that the Town Of Lancaster sealed ‘Lancaster Feels Like Home To Me’ into a 100 year time capsule, but this is quite a milestone in its own right.  Thanks to all of you who read My View and thanks for all the kind words of praise.  It means a lot. 
    In addition, I’ve been spending some time this weekend getting the word out online on The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour.  Without getting into too much technical mumbo jumbo, I’ve syndicated some of the earlier shows on to podomatic.com and listed the show on a great deal of directories and feed aggregators.  This basically means that there’ll be more online beacons for the uninitiated to find the show.  While the mypodcast.com site has plenty of room and looks sharp, they’ve been having some problems with tracking accurate statistics in the last six weeks, so I’m looking at some alternatives for setting up shop down the road.  In the mean time, I’ll be experimenting with some of these other free hosting sites and seeing which one works best before setting up shop for good on another site.  If you want to check out, become a fan of, or subscribe to the sister site, here’s the address:
    http://www.bigwordsradio.podOmatic.com
    The stats for the show on podomatic are pretty all-inclusive and they give me a better indicator of how well each show is doing, how many people are listening, etc.  My goals for Big Words Radio Year 2 are to reach a larger audience, book bigger and better celebrities, and scale back on the number of new shows in order to strive for quality over quantity.  I’ll be implementing a lot of these goals over the course of this summer.
    And later this month (as well as the beginning of August), I’ll be taking part in the Buffalo Infringement Festival downtown to promote Slapstick & Superego before the official launch.  I’m still ironing out the details for the launch, but here are the dates, locations and times where you can catch me during Infringement:
    7/25 9pm Nietzsche’s (Part of Space Alien Love Fest)
    7/26 5pm – 7pm Rust Belt Books (Solo)
    7/26 5pm – 8:30pm Rock Harbor Yard (Part of Zombie Fest)
    8/1 9pm Nobody’s Art Center (Part of Nobody’s Pirate Party)
    8/2 8pm Nietzsche’s (Part of Infringement Awards Ceremony and Closing Party)
    A big thanks goes out to organizer Josh Smith for working around my hectic schedule to make this happen as well as the rest of the organizers for the Buffalo Infringement Festival.  This will be the first time I’ve taken part in Infringement, so I’m looking forward to the experience and I’m intrigued to meet and greet with some of the other artists, poets, musicians and writers taking part in the event.  If you’re calendar is free at the end of July or the beginning of August, come out and say hi!
    And finally, Night Life magazine hits the stands with a vengeance today with ‘How To Be A Slob -or- Why Martha Stewart Won’t Return My Phone Calls’, an older essay from Zany Hijinx. 
    That’s all I’ve got for you today.  Lindsay and I are still working on getting a word processing program for our loaner, so I’m holding off on writing anything new since I abhor Wordpad and would rather wait to write on something I’m familiar with.  I’ll talk to you all in two days,
    Tom Waters
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2 New Shows! Episode 40: ‘Septuagenarian Stew’ & Will Holton Live @ The Tralf!

July 2, 2009
    Yesterday’s show was ridiculous!  A big thanks goes out to Mike ‘ring a ding’ Mariani and Gun Nut Brendan for bringing their A game and keeping the dialogue snappy and laugh-out-loud funny.  You won’t believe it until you hear it:
 
Episode 40 Synopsis:
    With no celebrity guest in sight, Tom viciously attacks his good buddy Mike. Gun-nut Brendan returns as co-host emeritus to get a few cheap shots in while mourning the loss of Michael Jackson.
 
    And I finally finished editing and posting Will Holton’s fantastic concert from mid-April at the Tralf.  I’m still peeved that the hour of conversation we had in November was lost (due to a technical glitch with the recording program I work on), but I’m glad his music made it through the process:
 
Will Holton Live At The Tralf:
     National recording artist Will Holton plays out to a sold-out crowd at the Tralfamadore in downtown Buffalo during a multi-city tour to promote the release of his debut album ‘Always’. 
 
    Thanks again to Will Holton and Tony Shep for the VIP passes and Jesse Rejewski of JR Audio for full access to the sound boards during the show.  The sound quality is top notch and if you enjoy jazz, you’re in for a treat.
 
    To hear both shows online, pop on over to http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com .
    To subscribe for free on iTunes, search ‘Big Words Radio’ in the Podcasts section.
 
    And with that, I’m completely caught up on the older shows!  Next week, I can start recording some new material and causing more mayhem in the greater Buffalo area.  Have a great rest of the week and enjoy the shows!
    Tom Waters   
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Quixote Wednesday Update! Guest Drought

June 25, 2009
I’ve got a serious problem with next week’s Think Twice Studio show on Wednesday: I don’t have a guest. 
 
    Between the total lack of technology for a few weeks there and a plan of action of contacting some a, b and c-listers in the last few weeks, nobody has come through.  I’ve got nothing.
    While Mike ‘ring a ding’ Mariani will be joining me as co-host, I’ve tried in the past to reserve the studio dates for national brand names that people would recognize. 
     If any of you happen to have a pipeline to a real star (again, NATIONAL or widely well-known), please let me know ASAP!  Comedians, writers, comic artists, adult film stars, actors, etc.  Odds are that if I haven’t heard of them, then I won’t be interested.  From a Buffalo standpoint, the only studio guests I’m currently interested in would be John Valby, Ani Difranco, Allison Pippitone, Shredd, Regan or a Bills or Sabres player.  If it’s a musician or a band, I would rather record them as a ‘One Man Mobile Unit’ off-site, so again, not interested.
     If you’ve got a valid guest idea, please drop me an email at: bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com.  Normally, I’ve got a guest booked a month in advance for these shows, but a week away and counting and I have no idea who’s going to be sitting in the hot seat (or waiting patiently on the phone) once the show goes on air. 
    Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.  One way or the other, Mike and I will have a great show.  Cross your fingers for us and drop us a line!  Thanks,
    Tom Waters  
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Monday Big Words Update! Episode 39 up, more copies of S & S en route…

June 23, 2009
After an amazing party/show anniversary on Saturday (and some serious editing on Sunday), Big Words Radio Episode 39 is now online.  Here’s your synopsis:
 

Synopsis:
     Tom looks back on a wildly successful first year for The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour by throwing a party. Former co-hosts reflect on their experience on the show, SoCo Mike commits a serious faux pax by using a vintage Robin The Boy Wonder glass for his cocktail, and special musical guest The Pheonix Resistance rock it out with an original composition (‘Neverending Grace’).
 
To hear Episode XXXIX, click on: http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com
 
To subscribe to Big Words Radio on iTunes, log on, click on ‘Podcasts’ and search ‘Big Words Radio’.
 
    And the first batch of Slapstick & Superego came and went in rapid succession.  I’ve got another payload of first editions in transit as we speak and should have them in by Wednesday, so if you want one, speak now or forever hold your peace, because they’re going fast!  Early first impressions on the book have been overwhelmingly positive, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the general public thinks once they get their hands on the book late this summer. 
    As far as the yet-to-be-published episodes, I spent last week working on April Foolfest 2.  For a two and a half hour spoken word/music concert, there’s a lot of editing to be done.  Much like the new book, I’d rather take the time to get it right the first time than release an unfinished product, so keep your eyes peeled on the web site and hopefully I’ll be done with it some time this week. 
    And Night Life magazine hits the stands this week with ‘Docker Bums’, an essay about the increasing laziness of our modern world.  With limited access to my backlog, I’ve had to resort to some reprints until the computer crisis passes…
    And that’s all the news that’s fit to print this Monday.  Thanks to everybody who made the party such a huge hit, thanks to everyone who helped/participated on the radio show in the last year, and thanks to the new owners of Slapstick & Superego!  I’ll have your Quixote Wednesday Update for you in two more days…
    Tom Waters
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Monday Big Words Update: Out Of The Ashes…

June 15, 2009
    This is one of those Frosted Mini-Wheats sort of weeks.  I’ve got alternating good news and bad news:
     The Big Words Radio One Year Anniversary Party is only six days away!  The good news is that I’ll have pre-launch copies of Slapstick & Superego available for $19.99.  The bad news is that I’m only going to have 10 copies to sell, so if you want to be one of the first to get one, yesterday would be a good time to let me know.  Seriously, if you want one of the first copies, let me know ASAP because they are going to go quickly.  Drop me an email ahead of time at:
     bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com
     if you’re interested.  If you can wait until the next payload, by all means do so.
     Our computer is broken beyond repair.  That’s bad.  We’re salvaging what parts we can and all of my original book files (including the Buffalo Anthology Project) will be intact once we get our new Frankenstein monster in two weeks.  That’s good.
     I’ve got all of my current sound files ported over onto the loaner we’re using while our PC is under construction.  This is good news, as I can start knocking out some radio shows from my backlog and posting them up before week’s end.  After a brief upgrade, I still don’t have Microsoft Word or a comparable word processing program.  This sucks.  I’m going on four weeks without the capabilities to write something new without a very time-consuming and roundabout process.  This is worse than writer’s block because I’d really like to get back into some of the projects I’ve been toiling away on and I still can’t.  I suppose I should be grateful that I can work on the radio show, though.  Life’s full of delightful little curve balls.
     That should bring you all up to speed.  The new issue of Night Life assaults the stands this week with ‘Assault On Mitchell’s Tavern’.  You read the blog first almost instantaneously after the incident occurred and now the 70,000 readers of Night Life magazine can read all about it as well.
     Circle on back in two days for your regularly scheduled Quixote Wednesday Update.  Laywer/musician Michael Bly sent a supportive email regarding the Mitchell’s Tavern fiasco and with his permission I’ll be posting it for your enjoyment.
     That’s all I’ve got for today.  As soon as a new radio show is up, you’ll be the first ones to hear about it.  That is unless you’ve already subscribed to the show for free on iTunes (just search ‘Big Words Radio’ in the Podcasts section if you want to join in on the fun).  I’m a fast typer, but the iTunes update is faster.  Talk to you all in two days,
     Tom Waters 
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Monday Big Words Update! Purgatorio

June 1, 2009

The last two months have been very frustrating.  It seems like every project I’ve been working on has gotten trapped in limbo and things aren’t progressing at a speed that I’m comfortable with or the timeline I was originally working with.
     After personally proof-reading my correction proof for Slapstick & Superego and submitting the typos and various errors that crop up with any manuscript, I uploaded the newest revision and ordered a copy of the revised book.  I got the new copy in the mail over the weekend and there are five NEW typos that cropped up and can’t be ignored.  I was hoping to have some copies of the new book on hand for the Big Words Radio Anniversary Party on June 20th, but it’s getting down to the wire and it’s not looking good at this point.  I can’t plan an official launch, I can’t schedule radio interviews, and I can’t really do much of anything in terms of promoting or scheduling the new book until the new book is DONE, so I’m stalled yet again and I’m not sure how long it will be before the book measures up to the standards I’m holding it to.  One way or the other, this new book is going to be perfect.  No typos, no mis-prints, no formatting hiccups.  As the third release from Doubt It Publishing, the presentation of the book needs to be as tight as the content within, so unfortunately, I’m going to wait patiently until the finished product is, well, finished.
     The entire month of April was spent designing the new Big Words Radio web site and moving each show over individually under a different format.  As a result of this, there are still six to seven hours worth of archived shows that I’d like to edit and post before planning/recording any new shows.  Potential guests are chomping at the bit and I’ve even talked a number of talented local and national artists about doing new shows, but I can’t set a date or start researching new shows until the old ones are up online.  And I can’t do that until we get our computer back from repairs.  The new motherboard for my PC was supposed to be in last Tuesday and it got delayed, so I have no f*&#ing access to the sound files that I’ve been anxious to work on since last week.  So any new radio shows are on hold for a bit longer.
     With a final deadline approaching for the Buffalo Anthology Project, Alycia Ripley and I agreed to block out some time in May and June to begin reviewing the final slate of submissions and start adding the accepted works.  While I’ve made some headway updating accepted authors and while I have access to the submissions that haven’t been accepted or rejected via email, again, I don’t have access to the anthology file itself because it’s on a hard drive that isn’t physically HERE right now.  So I get to wait that one out, too. 
     And after the fiasco at Mitchell’s Tavern this previous Friday (if you didn’t read about it yet, scroll down), my editor at the Buffalo News and I decided that we won’t be publishing the review because he doesn’t want to send a staff photographer to a bar where their reviewer and his friends got jumped without provocation while the employees watched outside (on camera) and did nothing to stop it.  
     I’ve got a lot more to discuss about the Mitchell’s Tavern fiasco, but it seems like the perfect topic to go into at length for a little something I like to call ‘Quixote Wednesday’.  All of us directly involved are truly livid about the incident, and from what you’ve all told me since posting, you’re not too pleased about it either.  I’ll start airing my grievences two days from now on the official site this Wednesday, so I’ll talk to you all then.
     And before I forget, part one of a brand new essay (‘Oral Technique’) hits the stands in Night Life magazine today.  It’s an article about the impending one year anniversary for the Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour that I wrote on my AOL email since I don’t have a word processing program on our loaner computer.  
     Color me frustrated,
     Tom Waters

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2 New Radio Shows! Uncle Hal 63 & Big Words Radio 38!

May 14, 2009

Yowser!

I just got done doing two back-to-back radio shows yesterday and boy is my mouth tired.

Seriously though, folks, there are two very different and very interesting shows up on a number of sites as of this morning. Yesterday afternoon, Uncle Hal came back swinging after a six month break for his 63rd episode and was nice enough to invite me back as co-host. If you’ve never heard The Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal before, be forewarned. This is not your grandma’s comedy. We pull NO punches, anything and everything gets goofed on and every episode is more brutal than the previous ones. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Here’s your synopsis for 63:

Hal is back and joined again by the ever whacky Tom Waters. The show is off the hook! Tune in because even Hal cringed a couple times…whew! There’s the Popeye’s Chicken fiasco that has a whole group of patrons clucking! A new installment of Porntards! A racist teachers gets suspended for using the “N” word! When you hear the lost old man phone prank you’ll piss your pants! Kids get shocked with electric dog collars and shot in the ass with BB guns. Hal’s Happy ending asks the question “Why do we need all these stupid constitutional rights?”

You can listen to the show on my site (www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com) or you can listen to the show (along with the other 62 episodes of full tilt comedy) over on Hal’s site (www.powunclehal.com). You can also subscribe to the Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal on iTunes by searching ‘Uncle Hal’.

Last night at the Think Twice Radio studios, I had the honor of interviewing Harvey Pekar along with my co-host Mike ‘ring a ding’ Mariani. Here’s your synopsis for that one:

Episode 38: ‘Making It Big’

Tom and co-host Mike ‘ring a ding’ Mariani talk to comics legend Harvey Pekar (American Splendor) regarding his life, his career, and the supposed sanity of ‘close personal friend’ Alan Moore.

You can listen to Big Words 38 on the Think Twice radio site (www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html), over at the official Big Words Radio site (www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com) or again, you can subscribe to the show on iTunes by searching ‘Big Words Radio’.

A big thanks goes out to producer Richard Wicka, Mike Mariani (for behaving himself), Harvey Pekar and Pamela Mullin at DC Comics for helping to make the show happen. It was a much tamer show than we expected and you’ll actually be surprised at the Bob Costas-style interview that took place.

Enjoy!

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode XXXVII: Necrobibliophiliacs!

May 10, 2009

 

Tom, Zombieworx Comics Publisher (and creator of the hit comic book The Red Eye as well as Pulp) Kyle Kaczmarczyk and time-travelling Tonawanda native and sci-fi author Diane Meholick (Switch In Time, Buffalo Stories, Painting Katherine) antagonize, titillate and aggravate an endless barrage of attendees at the 3rd Annual Buffalo Small Press Book Fair. Dreadlocks, Raggedy Andy Hats and bike horns prove to be a deadly combination. The event took place on Saturday, March 14th at the Karpeles Manuscript Museum. This podcast is a continuation of the Monsters Of Verse series.
 
-Subscribe on Itunes by searching Big Words Radio!
-To listen online, click over to: http://www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com

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Um…Has Anyone Ever Heard Of ‘the Itunes’?

May 8, 2009
 

For the first time ever, it is now possible for all of you to ‘dial it up’ on your Ipod. As of this week, Apple informed me that The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour (all 36 existing ‘podisodes’?) passed their grueling approval process, so in addition to visiting the site online at its new second home (www.bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com), feel free to subscribe or download directly on Itunes! Just pop onto Itunes, search ‘Big Words Radio’, and BAM! You’re there! It’s never been easier to listen to my nonsense, and when you subscribe, the newest shows will pop up on your Ipod before I even send out the announcement! So the question isn’t necessarily ‘do you like apples’, but ‘do you like Apple’?

And there is still a mountain of back-logged shows that’ll be going up in the next few weeks! As of this morning, the final (and first, oddly) installment of ‘We’ve Got Gregg’s Back’, the benefit for Gregg Sansonne, is up on the site featuring a knockout performance from Buffalo Music Award-winning dynamic duo Busted Stuff! The entire benefit (including my corny jokes on mc detail) is up for your enjoyment in chronological order, so you can listen to the concert the same way those of us who attended heard it, minus the long pauses, band warm-ups, or frequent Chinese Auction announcements.

What can you look forward to hearing in the future, you may ask? April Foolfest 2 featuring yours truly spouting out Slapstick & Superego, JR Finlayson doing what he does best busting out mad lyrical dope rhymes and piano wunderkind Lenny Revell bringing down the house sans microphone Jerry Lee Lewis style! A ’parter of two’ interview/concert combo with local jazz saxophonist Will Holton on location at Ying’s Wings in Depew and the Tralf in downtown Buffalo, respectively. The final Monsters Of Verse performance at the Center For Inquiry. And so much more! Expect brand new ’One Man Mobile Unit’ episodes some time towards the end of May and the beginning of June!

We’re also less than a week away from superstar special guest Harvey Pekar, comic book pioneer and American Splendor icon! Stay tuned Wednesday, May 13th for the first studio show since the shocking Sara Jay episode (#35) from March!

That’s about everything for one day. Have a great weekend and have fun ’dialing it up’ on your Ipods!

 

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Quixote Wednesday Update: Dan Labowski & Michael Bly Band @ Desiderio’s, Big Words Radio Onward & Upward!

April 29, 2009

Now that we’re taking a fresh approach to the concept of Quixote Wednesdays, I thought I’d spend today on some positive topics. Instead of jousting at big, heartless corporate windmills, let’s take a look at local music and a few other things, shall we?

Dan Labowski started a new open mic night at Desiderio’s on Broadway. He’s a great guy, a fantastic musician, and you probably know him better as the lead singer of the Buffalo Music Award-winning super group Suckerpunch (who, coincidentally, played a helluva concert for Big Words Radio on Episode 27) as well as the lead singer for No Excuses. The open mic is every single Tuesday, it starts at around 9:30 p.m., and it’s open to everyone: musicians, comedians, you name it. So if you’re not doing anything one of these Tuesdays, come up and see Dan do his thing! I didn’t realize how diverse Dan’s style was myself until I heard him play a few opening sets. I’ve seen him play out every week for the last four weeks at Desi’s and truly deserves a bigger turnout. Having hosted an open mic myself (way the hell back in 2001), I know just how hard it is to start something new and get a following going. Open mics aren’t as predominant as they were back in 2001, so again, do me a solid and support my buddy!

I’m also pleased to announce that Michael Bly (another former Big Words Radio alumn from Episodes 17 & 18, respectively) will be performing THIS SATURDAY at Desiderio’s on Broadway at around 10 p.m. Mike is a dear friend of many years, a hell of a performer and a great showman. He’ll be playing some material from his upcoming CD Release this Saturday backed by the entire Michael Bly band, so do yourself a favor and come on out! It should be a great concert and the wife, myself and Intentionally Bald Mike will be there rocking out and slamming shots along with the rest of Lancaster’s party people!

Are you noticing a theme here? Big Words Radio. After two and a half back-breaking and grueling weeks, I’m proud to announce that ALL 35 original episodes of The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour have been transferred to the new web site complete with pretty pictures, quick download links and relatively accurate posting dates. What does this mean? This means that I can FINALLY start posting all of the new shows from the last six to eight weeks. What’s that web site again, you say? Glad you asked:

bigwordsradio.mypodcast.com

So get the hell over there and download to your heart’s content! And when you get there, you may notice a BRAND NEW EPISODE that you won’t find anywhere else on the web! This morning, I edited, produced and uploaded legendary Buffalo Music Award-winning band Black Widow’s hour-long performance from the Gregg Sansonne: We’ve Got Gregg’s Back benefit. The sound quality was crystal clear, the band brought the house down, and the emcee was less than despicable (yours truly). You may notice that there’s no episode number attached to the post and there’s a damned good reason for that: there are FOUR more concert shows from the same day and I’ll be posting them all in a row! By this time next week, each performance from Busted Stuff, The Mick Hayes Band, Only Humen (with a cameo from Michael Bly) and Gregg Sansonne himself will be up on the new site in chronological order! Not to mention the fact that it’s free! So click over, download those bad boys onto your Ipods and rock out with some great Buffalo Bands compliments of Big Words Radio!

I’ve got a lot more in store for that site and now that the past is taken care of, I can start tinkering on the present and the future. I’ll save a few surprises for next week, but check the site often and you might hear a show before I mention it.

So to recap: Dan Labowski open mic at Desiderio’s every Tuesday from about 9:30 throughout the evening. The Michael Bly band this Saturday at Desiderio’s. The Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour at it’s new home with a new show. Have a great rest of the week and hopefully I’ll see some of you out this Saturday!,

Tom Waters

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Monday Big Words Update!: The Last Fandango

April 27, 2009

After oversleeping on Saturday for a 7 pm reading at Caz Coffee Café (long nap), it was a relief to discover that Jeff Finlayson, Kyle Kaczmarzcak and Diane Meholick kicked one of the last two MOV shows off without me just fine. I felt like a dick for not showing up early like I normally do, but this is another sign that it’s time for a break. We had a great time and a great show and I’d like to personally thank everyone who came out for the reading. Due to my tardiness, the event was not recorded, so if you missed it, you won’t have an opportunity to hear it online at a later date. Sucks to be you.

I can’t help but take stock of the six month run that Jeff and I have had together traveling around as the MOV and on good days, I’m very grateful for the process we went through. On bad days, it seems like the agony of being in a rock band without the money or the groupies. All in all, it was a great concept and Jeff and I have become stronger friends as a result. A lot of new material has been written as a result of our constant feedback, reading the work out, and interacting with the public. A while back, I said that I regretted ever having a part in the inception of the Monsters. I spoke too soon.

Jeff is a very talented writer and he now has a new book (and a half) of new poems that he’s drummed up because of our tour. Instead of writing a mountain of new material, I’ve learned to spend more time editing and to elicit editorial wisdom from my peers, so my third collection of poems will be a tighter, more concise collection with less dreck and more concentrate. The MOV experience was like boot camp for us, in a way. We are hardened professionals now, and the thought of reading my poems in front of an audience is no longer horrifying and frightening. Jeff and I talked Saturday night after the show and he wants to continue the moniker. Because of the Slapstick launch in the summer (and a much-needed rest after fourteen months of writing and promoting), I won’t be continuing on after May. However, Jeff will. With any luck, other area poets will join him in the hopscotch-style readings we founded together with Carrie Gardner.

We’ve got one more reading in May at the Center For Inquiry with distinguished poetess Christina Wos Donnelly hosted by Perry Nicholas and I couldn’t think of a better way to round out the end of the junket. I try never to say never, but after that, I’m out for awhile. If any area poets are interested in joining Jeff in the non-locale-specific gauntlet, please feel free to email him directly at:

Dullroar25@hotmail.com

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m pretty goddamned tired. Tired of promoting, tired of writing (after a year and change of it) and tired of putting my face and my name out there. It’s clearly time for a break. Some writers have the ego, the drive, or the tenacity to keep plugging, promoting and assuring others that their work is worth reading and I’m not one of them. In a semi-professional career spanning almost a decade where I’ve never promoted any one book for more than three months, I’m tapping out for a bit. I’ve had enough for now. I’m sick of myself, I’m sick of both poetry books, and I’m sick of leaving my house for another scheduled engagement. It takes a certain kind of person to continually tour the circuit and I don’t have that quality. At the heart of it, I’d always rather spend any night quietly at home with my wife or quietly out at a bar anonymously. I stopped doing any of this for ego reasons a long time ago. Even this is redundant.

Make it out to the Center For Inquiry on Wednesday, May 6th at 7 p.m. for the final reading for the original founding members (plus Christina) of the Monsters Of Verse. We’ll razzle, dazzle and amaze. Ten slots are also open for open readers.

As for everything else, all of the original episodes of Big Words Radio are almost complete. The process is time consuming and aggravating, but all 35 episodes should be done by week’s end. Expect a new episode next week. And the final installment of ‘Pronunciation’ (a lengthy essay on my wedding and everything surrounding it) hits the pages of Night Life magazine this week, so scoop it up for the final word.

In two more weeks, I can have my life back. I hope it still fits. I’ll talk to you all in two days for a new Quixote Wednesday Update,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 32: A Word In Spanish With Alexis Amore!

February 26, 2009
What a show!
 
    We wrapped in the studio last night after a captivating hour with adult film star and Peruvian import Alexis Amore.  Thanks are in order to Alexis, producer Richard Wicka and co-host Alie for taking the time to be part of one of the best show’s yet!  Big Words Radio just keeps getting bigger and better and you’ve all got a front row seat.  Here’s your synopsis:
 
2/25/09 Big Words I Know By Heart Episode 32: A Word In Spanish With Alexis Amore!
Tom and co-host Alie talk to busty Peruvian hottie Alexis Amore about the industry, simulated orgasms for the listener’s enjoyment, and the amount of research everyone invested into this episode beforehand.
 
    Tune in over at the Think Twice intraweb site and keep clicking back as national recording artist Lenny Revell’s ‘parter of two’ should be popping up some time within the next week.  The moment both of Revell’s shows are online, you’ll all be the first to know. 
    And don’t forget, adult film star Sara Jay is on deck for the next in-studio date on Wednesday, March 25th!  I’ve got some other phenomenal guests planned for future shows, but I don’t want to tip my hand too soon and I’d rather not jinx them.  A lot of work goes into each program and the behind-the-scenes labor involved factoring in phone calls, research, questions, and the general prospectus and theme of each show.  Trust me when I say that the next studio guest after March (if it works out) is a pioneer in his field. 
    Thanks for listening and feel free to click over directly at the link provided!
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
Have a great week!
Tom Waters
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Big Words Radio Hour Episodes 30 & 31 Up Right NOW!

February 20, 2009
Hey folks!
 
Two new episodes of Big Words Radio are up and running on your worldwide superinformation off-ramp right this second!  Here are your ‘synospsi’:
 
 

Big Words Episode 30: ‘Tom’s Atomic Poetry Kegger Cliff-Hanger!’ (pt.II)
 Tom throws his first official Poetry Kegger at Don’s Atomic Comics in Depew.  Distilled spirits are consumed, comics are purchased, and a fight almost breaks out at the end of the clip.  This episode concludes Part I, which can be found by clicking on the Monsters Of Verse pod-cast show (which can also be found on the Think Twice Site).  This is what’s known as ’cross-promotion’.
 
Big Words Episode 31: ‘The Large Verbiage We’ve Shared Through Rote Activity Podcast’
 With a Democrat firmly entrenched in the White House, Thomas Waters and ’Full Head Of Luxurious Hair Michael’ attempt a show reformat that’s kindler, gentler, and a hell of a lot more liberal.  Guest Lindsay Waters upsets the new world order of things by bringing the content rating of the show from PG to NC-17. 
 
    I would STRONGLY recommend that you wait until Part I of the Tom’s Atomic Poetry Kegger show appears over on the Monsters Of Verse show site before diving head first into PT. II on my own site.  Just a suggestion, though, and odds are that you’re going to do whatever you want. 
    Tonight, I’ll be recording an back to back interview and concert shows with highly acclaimed musician Lenny Revell.  As soon as the shows are finished and posted, you’ll be the first group to know.  In the mean time, perk up your ears and click away over at:
 
 
    Have a great weekend and I’ll talk to you all on Monday for your regularly scheduled Monday Update,
 
Tom Waters
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Monday Big Words Update! A Boat Load Of New Shows On The Horizon…

February 16, 2009

This is going to be one of the shortest Monday Updates in recent memory as time is an issue today and not much has occurred…yet.

A new issue of Night Life magazine hit’s the stands today with ‘Barometric Pressure’, a very honest look at the nature and progress of my own bipolar disorder. I’m rarely this open with my readers (aside from the poetry books), so scoop it up if you want to catch a different side of me.

Borders last Friday was a great time with author Diane Meholick and we recorded the event for Monsters Of Verse pod casting purposes. Diane will be joining me again as a rotating guest Monster on Saturday, March 21st from 12-6 p.m. at the Karpeles Manuscript Museum for the 3rd annual Buffalo Small Press Book Fair. She’s a talented author and she was a joy to spend two hours with. You can catch our conversation soon on the Monsters Of Verse site on Think Twice Radio.

On Saturday, Lindsay, myself and ‘Luxurious Full Head Of Hair Michael’ recorded what will in all likelihood be the only episode of the ‘Large Verbiage We’ve Learned Through Rote Activity’ program. The Big Words format was completely reversed and after listening to the show with my buddy Ron, we were in stitches. Those unfamiliar with the previous 29 shows will have no goddamned idea what’s going on and will most likely turn the show off. Those of you who’ve heard some of the other shows will get what we’re doing and most likely piss yourselves laughing. The show isn’t up yet, but it will be very, very soon.

I spent Sunday editing and producing 6 hours worth of Big Words and Monsters shows and I’ll drop an update as soon as they’re all up. In total, there are 2 new Big Words shows and 4 Monsters pod casts going up THIS WEEK. That’s a lot of pod casting, folks.

That’s all I’ve got for you today. Stay tuned for more information this week and don’t forget to tune back in for your regularly scheduled Quixote Wednesday update! Take care and have a great week,

Tom Waters

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Big Words One Man Mobile Unit Episode 27 (at long last): Suckerpunch!

January 2, 2009
Yup,
 
    Much like the Kevin McCarthy two-banger, Suckerpunch was kind enough to record two separate hours (one interview hour, one concert hour) weeks ago from our Lancaster grotto.  And in the same respect, it took me about three weeks to get the episodes up online.  This band was absolutely incredible, and they were unlike any other musical act I’ve had on so far in that they were hardcore with some bite!  If you like rock with some teeth (i.e. Metallica, Marilyn Manson, and Disturbed), then you are absolutely going to LOVE these two shows!  Join Suckerpunch, co-host Alie (Desiderio’s) and myself for two solid hours of boot-stomping, head-banging, Wild Turkey-swilling radio gold!  Here’s the official synopsis:
 
Big Words One Man Mobile Unit Episode 27: A Suckerpunch To The Nuts! (pt.I of II)
   
Tom makes the grave error of a) inviting Buffalo Music Award winning hard rock band Suckerpunch into his home and his heart, b) letting co-host Alie (Desiderio’s) bartend with only Wild Turkey as a hard liquor and c) trying to host a cohesive interview show throughout. Total bedlam ensues as Tom, Alie and the band gear up for a ‘parter of two’ that will rock your f-ing socks off!
    The boys were a bit difficult to herd in for a group session interview wise, but that was part of the fun.  A big thanks goes out to the entire band for lugging about half a million dollars worth of equipment into my home for the full metal experience, Alie for her top notch bartending and co-hosting skills, Phil from Macaroon’s for helping to put me in touch with the boys, and the rest of my apartment building for not calling the cops and hauling us off while Suckerpunch obliterated every eardrum within a five mile radius.  Truly a landmark show.  Listen for yourselves over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
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Monday Big Words Update! December Suprises…

December 22, 2008

After yesterday’s update, I don’t have a whole hell of a lot to get caught up on. There are no less than three new Big Words Radio shows in the pipeline, but time hasn’t been on my side lately and the file uploading process I have makes it infinitely easier to just drop the shows off at the studio when the weather and the roads permit. As for the roads and the weather, lake effect snow: what’s up with that? Since the wife and I are on lockdown due to Lancaster’s ‘State Of Emergency’ and the Driving Ban, perhaps I’ll try and volley a few shows Rich’s way.

This Wednesday (X-Mas Eve) marks my next in-studio date for recording the show with co-host Josh Smith. As for a guest, we’ve got our pick of the litter and I’m not entirely sure who’s going to be on until Wednesday rolls around because I have two people on deck for the guest chair and they’re both call-ins.

As for both Breathing Rooms, I’m taking a hiatus on promoting the new books in addition to the Monsters Of Verse. The holidays are hectic enough and there’s not much point in promoting anything in Buffalo in terms of in-store promotions this late in the winter. JR Finlayson, myself and our third rotating guest poets will kick back into high gear in February once the elements and the economy are off the ropes, if you know what I mean.

It seems like forever since I got a bar review into the Buffalo News, but, well, I’ve been busy and the News has been busy. You can expect a new Club Watch (or two) within the next week or two.

And a new Night Life presumably hit’s the stands today with the final installment of ‘5 Writers, 3 Musicians, A Director, A Teamster, A Painter, A Boxer and a Game Show Host: A Study In Biographical Pictures’, a critical essay on my 15 favorite biopics.

That’s all I’ve got for you today. Stay the hell at home, don’t panic, don’t find an excuse to leave the house to get milk or eggs or some such nonsense and chillax. The way I see it, this is nature’s way of telling us to get some rest and get caught up on things around the house. Thank god we’ve got whiskey, cigarettes, 800 movies, 2,000 comics and a few dozen video games. Who wants to play video games, though? Talk to you all on Christmas Eve with ‘Quixote Wednesday’,

Tom Waters

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Newsletter Feed: One Bigass Sit. Rep! Two new podcasts, two new articles and a whole bunch of other stuff!

November 7, 2008
Whew!
 
    You’d think that being jobless would resemble some manner of paradise involving sitting on my ass, eating government cheese and doing absolutely nothing, right?  Wrong.  In the last month, I’ve put more time into my career (writing) now that I don’t have gainful employment than ever before.  I can honestly say that I’m going through one of those quantum leaps marketing-wise.  The kind I haven’t enjoyed since way back in 2001.  Most of my days have been spent schmoozing on the phone until the battery dies out on my portable, writing any number of different personal projects and assignments, blogging and working on my sites as well as those of others, and spending what little time is left in the evening taking care of things around the house and spending time with my wife while shoehorning research into other side projects. 
    Yesterday alone, I got up at eight in the morning, got a good running start at life and didn’t stop until around midnight.  Aside from a ten minute nap, I didn’t stop.  When I get a full-time job, it’s going to be a bit of a relief, because I’ll have the sort of structure again where I can allow myself to rest once in a while.  Even after getting a molar pulled last week and suffering from related migraines, I felt guilty taking a portion of two days in the last seven to relax and recuperate.  With as many hours in the day as I have at my disposal, I still feel as if there isn’t enough time to accomplish everything I’ve been setting out to do. 
    Bret Easton Ellis told me during our interview a few years back that he treated writing like a job, ‘clocking in’ at 9 a.m., breaking for lunch and then banging out of work around 5 p.m.  I wish I could stop that early.  While tiring, I realize how crucial the time I’ve been given is.  I’ve decided that I’ll be taking this holiday season away from the horrific nightmare that is retail to actually enjoy spending time with my family (new and old) for the first time in 16 years in addition to working on the multitude of projects that are currently under construction or already in progress.  As you may or may not know, the next two essay collections (Slapstick & Superego as well as Merry Prankster) are complete.  I haven’t penned a shred of new poetry for two weeks, but Poke The Scorpion With A Sharp Stick (the next poetry collection) is well over 140 pages without even including the freaky 50 page project I worked on in July (‘Rock/Pop Goes The Weasel’).  And then there are the freelancing assignments….
    My beloved editor at Gusto (Brian Connelly) is apparently moving me up to the big leagues in terms of freelancing and I couldn’t be more grateful.  In addition to the Club Watch bar reviews, he’ll be phasing me into their ‘Tell Me’ section at the very FRONT of Gusto (page two after the front page), conducting interviews with artists, writers and musicians on the cusp of making their big break inside as well as outside of Buffalo.  In regards to that, I’m going to humbly request that if any of you know of an artist (preferably a musician or band) with an upcoming gig in November or December who doesn’t have a firmly established fan base and deserves a wider audience, please email me at once with biographical as well as contact information.  My musical tastes tend to run about twenty or thirty years behind, so I’m woefully ignorant where current up-and-comers are concerned. 
    ArtVoice has also given me the green light on one of two projects I hatched during the idea-storm I was besieged with on my honeymoon at Silvercreek in early October.  With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I’ll be writing a piece about the hot spots to hit on the day before Thanksgiving, which happens to be the biggest party night of the year, eclipsing even New Year’s Eve and/or St. Patrick’s Day.  Again, if you happen to be ‘in the know’ on a bar, club or pub that blows the doors off business wise before the turkey hits the table, drop me a line.  My deadline window is one week, and I NEVER miss deadline.  It’s one of the qualities that’s reinforced my reputation as a serious writer in Buffalo and I’m certainly not going to call that into question now. 
    Yesterday, I had the pleasure and privelage (sp?) of recording an hour long show plus with my podcasting hero Uncle Hal from the Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal show.  He was my first choice after being offered my own show at Think Twice and with zero notes, bullet points or questions, we managed to fill 70 minutes worth of the most offensive, irreverent comedy imaginable.  If Hal didn’t have an appointment, I seriously would have gone for two hour-long shows in a row.  I raced Episode XV out as soon as I could and my producer Richard Wicka at Think Twice uploaded it at once.  I strongly encourage you to listen at once over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
    I had some issues finding the new episode with more luck refreshing on Internet Explorer, so if you don’t see Episode XV (and the subsequent ‘Bonus Round’), click Refresh and cross your fingers.  I’m not sure if the site is experiencing technical difficulties, but I’ll be getting to the bottom of it over the weekend.
    In addition to the Big Words One Man Mobile Unit, the Monsters Of Verse are full steam ahead.  I returned to Clarence High School on Tuesday to teach my first workshop on the mechanics of poetry as well as writing in general to Ms. Foster’s Poetry Club while recording the event.  That episode (#3, for those keeping track) can be heard over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/monsters/monsters.html
    
    Once again, I experienced issues finding the newest episode of each show on AOL, so if you have Internet Explorer, you’re better off visiting the site from there. 
    And last night, the Monsters Of Verse launched their second official reading at Talking Leaves on Main St. in Amherst.  JR Finlayson, Carrie Gardner and myself kicked off the evening in alphabetical order with fifteen minute sets of amusing, insightful and philosophical poems that the crowd really seemed to respond well to.  Due to a small snafu regarding our start time (I forgot that we started at 6 p.m. instead of 7), we read for an additional forty minutes for the sake of entertaining those who showed at or shortly after 7 o’clock.  Twenty minutes of the second set were lost from the digital recorder, so if you weren’t there, you won’t get to hear it once the non-stop rock block of genius goes up online.  Depending on where my day (and my weekend) take me, Episode IV of the Monsters Of Verse should be up on the web by Sunday afternoon at the latest.  I’ll shoot you all an email when I’m positive that it’s up. 
    I’ve had a lot of time to think in the last four weeks.  One of the things I was turning around in my head yesterday was just how…overjoyed I am to have two like-minded creative maniacs to tour Buffalo and beyond with for the next six months.  With Jeff Finlayson and Carrie Gardner on deck, I honestly couldn’t ask for two other people I’d rather be out and about reading with.  Aside from sustaining, supporting and inspiring each other, they remain my dear friends and I’m not so much surprised with how well our collective dynamic is growing and improving so much as I’m pleased with the results.  Maybe we’ll hate each other come the beginning of May, but I doubt it.  Their talent, professionalism and their knockout prognostication skills continue to sustain and inform my burgeoning poetry skills.  At the risk of getting gooey, thank you, Jeff and Carrie.  Our events (and this project) are a feather in our cap that I’m very, very proud of.  I realize that putting up with my thousand event-related emails, phone calls and frequent tantrums is far from fun to deal with (just ask my wife), and your respective patience and professionalism is slowly molding me into a better team player.  You two are the best.
    Our next stop on the quest for global spoken word domination hits next Thursday (the 13th) at Spot Coffee on Delaware and Chippewa from 7-9 p.m.  Three days later, we’ll be at my favorite bar, Desiderio’s on Broadway on Sunday the 16th at 7 p.m. with special musical guest Shaky Stage.  Attendance so far has been admirable, but where the hell have you guys been?  Carrie has brought the majority of our audience and I’m embarrassed to say that most of the Big Words army have been missing in action.  PLEASE make the time to show your face for one (if not both) of the next two events.  I’m disappointed in the total lack of support in terms of these promotions where you’re all concerned, and it would be nice to see some if not all of you out during this new experiment in our collective creative careers.  While I realize that our performances are not at the top of your list, you’re missing out.  We’ve had a great big barrel of fun so far and it’s only going to get better as we continue to sharpen our skill set on the road.  Forget everything you know about poetry and give us a try.  I promise that we won’t let you down, and the after-parties thus far have been phenomenal.  I’ll leave it at that.
    And, on a final note, two new articles popped up online this week.  This month’s issue of Acid Logic is rolling out hot at 15 mph with ‘Sawed Off Sam Walton’, a strangely topical essay about spending half of my life in the hell known as retail.  Read all about it over at:
 
http://www.acidlogic.com/retail_sucks.htm
 
    And after a month long unintentional hiatus from comic book reviews, I put my nose back to the grind and started pumping a few new graphic novel critiques and sending them off to my new editor at Comics Bulletin.  You can catch them every Wednesday on www.comicsbulletin.com.  Top Shelf Comics has been kind enough to send me more than my share of advance copies, review copies and entire libraries for research purposes having to do with the radio show, and one of the books they sent me stood head and shoulders above anything I’ve read this year.  Despite what you might think, I actually do read comics that don’t have Batman in the title.  This previous Wednesday, I gave Nate Powell’s Swallow Me Whole the credit it truly deserved.  Check that review out over at:
 
http://www.comicsbulletin.com/reviews/
 
    You may have to scroll down a tad as my show-notes inform me that it is no longer Wednesday and there isn’t a direct link to each review.  Since the Swallow Me Whole review, I’ve been hard at work building up a stockpile of other new reviews so that there aren’t any gaps on that site.  I’m neurotic about taking advantage of each and every site and publication I write for and I hate to be tardy to the party with any of them unless it’s absolutely unavoidable.  Writing comic reviews is a labor of love and it doesn’t even feel like work to fire off 5 or 600 words about every book I shovel into my brain.  Excelsior!
    That should be all the news that’s fit to print for the time being.  Thanks are in order to: JR Finlayson, Carrie Gardner, Richard Wicka, Greg Sterlace (farewell and good luck, new friend!), Jonathan at Talking Leaves, Josh Smith, Uncle Hal, Wil Forbis, Thom Young and last but not least, my wife.  Lindsay has had to endure hell and back and back around again in the last four months.  This wrongful termination from Gamestop was another curveball that we didn’t deserve or anticipate.  She’s a real trooper, and without her love, support and reliability, I’d be well past the point of sanity by now.  I love you, chipmunk! 
    Oof.  One final word.  Now that Hal has popped onto my show, I’ll be doing a walk-on over on his.  We’ll be recording Episode 61 (or is it 62?) next week and you know I’ll give you the head’s up once it’s online.  The two of us are the politically correct equivalent of a keg full of dynamite strapped to a minivan doused in nitroglycerin whenever we get near a microphone.  The Big Words episode was brutal, but now that we’re back in the groove, our show on his site will be worse.  You have been officially warned.  Have a great weekend,

 
Tom Waters
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Monday Big Words Update! Week 101 on stands/CHS Workshop Tomorrow/Talking Leaves THIS Thursday!

November 4, 2008

So…..

The Monsters Of Verse are full steam ahead and this crazy rig isn’t going to let up until at least the beginning of May.  Once the calendar year closes, we’ll be investing a great deal of time and energy into booking additional events, new venues and bigger appearances from February through May.  For now, though, we’ve got plenty to keep our hands full with the events we’ve got and new engagements keep popping up without us even trying!

Moving on, Night Life magazine assaults the Buffalo/Toronto market today with a Big Words edition of ‘Unenjoyment’, a stoical look at how my life would play out after Gamestop wrongfully terminated me so that they could promote a total incompetent racist drug addict into one of their new stores in the Buffalo market.  Scoop up a copy while it’s hot!  If you were on the free newsletter list (which you can subscribe to by emailing bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com with ‘subscribe’ in the subject heading), you got to see it first over three weeks ago.  If not, now’s your chance to read it in Night Life.  With 70,000 copies rolling off the presses every single week all over the Greater Buffalo/Niagara area, there are plenty of bars, restaurants and pizzerias where you can read all about it!

Tomorrow, I’ll be making a return trip to the hallowed halls of Clarence Central High School to teach my first writing workshop to the kids in the Poetry Club, the staff at Chrysalis, the on-site literary magazine (which has grown by leaps and bounds since I graduated in ’93), and a few other stragglers who got the exclusive invite from Ms. Foster and Kevin Starr.  You can hear the entire event some time later this week when it pops up on Think Twice Radio’s Monsters Of Verse site. 

This Thursday, the Monsters Of Verse kick off their second scheduled appearance/reading/signing at Talking Leaves on Main St. (near Bailey) at 6 p.m.   Jonathan (the owner proprietor of both locations) has been extremely supportive and helpful with all of my books for the last seven years, so bringing the crew out for another hoorah was a no brainer.  You can check out his listing/brief synopsis of the book over on Talking Leaves’ official site at:

http://www.tleavesbooks.com/watersplus.htm

Jr Finlayson, Carrie Gardner and myself will be reading selections from our newest poetry collections in fifteen minute blocks (so we have time to schmooze/hawk some books before the store closes at 8 pm sharp).  I don’t like to hold up employees at the locations where we have events scheduled near close, so please show up on time, bring plenty of friends (and cold hard cash!) and feel free to join us out afterwards!

I also pounded out two new graphic novel reviews for my editor Thom Young over at www.comicsbulletin.com.  One of the two should be going up this Wednesday, when they premiere their graphic novel reviews on the site.  I’ve been pretty negligent with them lately and I get neurotic when I’m not taking full advantage of every media stream I’m plugged into, so I’ll be focusing my creative efforts (with what diminishing free time I have) on getting a few more reviews backlogged for Mr. Young.

I’m not sure if there will be a new Big Words One Man Mobile Unit episodes this week, but we’ll see what happens.  This week is pretty hectic and I’m still reeling from my molar extraction.  I feel guilty for loafing even for a day or two, but some bed/couch rest wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.  We’ll see what happens.  If Uncle Hal stiffs again (which is becoming an increasingly more common occurance lately), maybe I’ll set something up on Wednesday with somebody else. 

And DON’T FORGET TO VOTE MCCAIN/PALIN ON ELECTION DAY, Tuesday, November 4th!  The Republican party needs all the support we can muster, so make the time, hit the polls and make your voice heard!  Our nations economy and global stance for the next four years depend upon it.  Don’t let the Spendocrats win this one, even if our last contender turned into a bumbling moron.  Who knows, maybe W. can find gainful seasonal employment with the soulless jackasses currently running Gamestop into the ground?  He’s got half a brain, and that appears to be qualification enough lately….

Have a great week and see you out, about and in print in Buffalo!

Vote Republican!,

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Hour Episode XIV: ‘Keeping It Warm’; Jeff Brown w/co-host SoCo Mike

October 30, 2008
Are we really all the way up to Episode 14 already?
 
    Man, radio time flies, doesn’t it?  I had the distinct pleasure of speaking with Ignatz-Award winning comic writer/artist Jeff Brown from Top Shelf Comics and, more recently, Simon & Schuster.  We talk about losing our virginity, keeping co-host Soco Mike’s bodily parts warm for him while he’s away on business in Binghamtom, and of course, there are more than a few I.B.M. jokes.  It just wouldn’t be a Big Words Radio show without them.  Sound effects were run into the ground, Frank Miller was lambasted and roasted on a spit for the opening shot, and Red Bull, our official sponsor, was plugged mercilessly (just like SoCo Mike’s wife!). 
    A big thanks goes out to Jeff Brown, Leigh Walton at Top Shelf Comics, Richard Wicka (as always) for enduring bicycle horn induced headaches, and of course, to SoCo Mike for ‘bringing the heat.  Listen in and perk up your ears over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
    If the new episode doesn’t show right away, click refresh on your web browser.  And if the show stops twenty minutes in, pause and then restart on your mp3 nav bar.  I’m getting a molar pulled tomorrow, so tonight’s show is about the most talking I’ll be doing for the next 24 hours, which is a good thing for my wife.  Enjoy!

 
Tom Waters
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Clarence High School Aftermath/Jeff Brown on deck for Big Words Radio

October 29, 2008

Yesterday morning, I had forty minutes with a group of students from Clarence High School’s poetry club, as well as a representative from their literary magazine, Chrysalis.  I spent the majority of my time reading pre-screened poems from Breathing Room Vol. I and II. and fielded questions from the kids while discussing the mechanics of style, form and creativity.  After being inspired in the eighth grade to journal thanks to a guest speaker in my Science class, I feel compelled to give back and hit area schools in an attempt to do the same.  It went very well.  I’ll be returning next Tuesday to teach a workshop on poetry to the same cross section of Clarence youths.  A big thanks is due to Anne Foster as well as Kevin Starr for making the in-school appearance possible.  Yesterday’s session was recorded and should be up online by about eleven pm tonight under the Monsters Of Verse banner at Think Twice radio at the following link:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/monsters/monsters.html

And after a month out of the studio doing Big Words One Man Mobile Units, I’ll be returning to record Episode XIV with guest artist Jeff Brown (Every Girl Is The End Of The World For Me, AEIOU, Clumsy, Unlikely) from Top Shelf Comics along with co-host SoCo Mike. 

I’m hoping that Jeff Brown is more of a good sport about things than Alex Robinson (Episode III) was after the show.  Odds are in my favor as Brown (Incredible Change-Bots) not only seems to have a finely tuned sense of humor but also happens to be the exact same age as yours truly.  Brown is one of the few writer/artists that Lindsay took a shine to, which is saying quite a bit. 

Top Shelf has been outlandishly good to me in the previous four or five months, sending review copies, advance copies and publicity materials for a lot of their best and brightest creators.  While I haven’t had a hell of a lot of time to write any reviews, I’m planning on dropping some new critiques into Comics Bulletin’s lap in the coming weeks.  The title at the top of my list right now is Swallow Me Whole from writer/artist Nate Powell.  I was so bowled over by the book (along with the staff at Don’s Atomic Comics) that I feel obligated to shower it with praise and get some work back in to Comics Bulletin at the same time.

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Big Words Radio One Man Mobile Unit Episode XIII: The Intentionally Bald Mike Show!

October 22, 2008
Yo yo yogurt!
 
    Last week, while I was enjoying my voluntary exile on ‘this half-Lake of Rushford’, Intentionally Bald Mike took the prestigious honor of hosting the Intentionally Bald Mike Show on Big Words Radio.  In this ‘reversal of roles’, Mike used his vocal ‘shotty’ to blast both barrels of comedy directly at yours truly.  Dark Knight lines were employed, Guinneii were pounded down in rapid succession, Red Bull was funnelled through our mouths after three hour mini-comas, and local yokels were goofed on within the vicinity. 
 
-Cost of a novelty whoopee cushion, railroad whistle, plastic hand-clapper and portable half-tambourine: $9
-Cost of a twelve pack (bottles) of Guinnei: $12.95
-Cost of gas driving to and from this ‘Hotel of Belfast’: $8
-Cost of restorative and miraculous powers of Red Bull: $4
-Bar tab for one evening with Tom & IBM: $40
-Cost of dry wood for cabin stove in the middle of nowhere: $5
 
-Cost of implicating, insinuating, and infuriating Tom’s former company of employment:
 
Priceless. 
 
Tune in to all the madness and government cheese references by clicking on over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
Big thanks go out to Intentionally Bald Mike (best host EVER), Richard Wicka’s phenomenal audio work, the Belfast Hotel, and last but not least, Gamestop for providing such great cannon fodder.  Soak it up, kids!
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Monday Big Words Update! Week 94 on Stands, Big Words Radio Episode 10(!) up now!

September 16, 2008

     The rant you know and love is coming out swinging this week in Night Life’s Big Words I Know By Heart column with ‘When In Sloan’, the now-epic, no-holds barred slam on ‘Sloanheads’ that seems to be everyone’s favorite Opening Shot from Big Words Radio Episode II.  Scoop it up on stands all week!

     And in case you didn’t catch the news flash yesterday, Breathing Room Volume I: Free Verse is available RIGHT NOW!  At $15 with a money back guarantee, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be racking up your credit and debit cards and starting your pre-ordering engines direct from my distributor at:

http://www.lulu.com/content/2962892

     Until I start seeing some orders placed, I’m just going to keep harping on it all over the web and in person, so get on there, grab a copy and enjoy the verbiage!  My initial 20 copy order is down to 15 in the span of two days, so you’re better off in the short run ordering from Lulu.  Volume II should and will be done by the first or second week of October.  Best case scenario, first week.

     I also spent four hours today lining up bookings for Breathing Room, myself and the other two Monsters Of Verse for the remainder of this calendar year at FYE, Talking Leaves, The Center For Inquiry and quite a few others.  The feelers are out and quite a few weekly, daily and campus newspapers will be conducting print interviews as well as book reviews for yours truly.  Since it’s a poetry book, I need total saturation if I’m going to give these two books a fighting chance, so expect to see and hear ‘this guy’ all around town and beyond starting October 25th. 

     And finally, we’ve reached Episode 10 (technically 11) of the Big Words Radio One Man Mobile Unit!  I recorded in sunny and fierce Las Vegas, Nevada last week and co-host Curt Kusckowski and myself blasted off on mob mentality convention crowds, implants, douche chips and a whole lot more.  The opening shot was ‘Bizarro Acrophobia’, a rant from Slapstick & Superego about the benefits of being a tall man versus going through life suffering from short guy syndrome.  Click away and dial it up on your Ipod over at:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

     The-that’s-the-that’s-the-that’s all, folks.  I’ll be dropping the confirmed appearance/reading/signing dates for October, November and December up first over at my YourHub events site, then Evite, then Myspace and beyond later in the week.  Stay tuned.  Same bat time, same bat channel.  And remember, I firmly believe that whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you…stranger.  Sincerely,

Tom Waters

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Back In The Saddle/Welcome Back To Buffalo!

September 12, 2008

I got back into town yesterday afternoon around 4 o’clock via Southwest airlines after five insane days in cripplingly humid Las Vegas at the luxurious Mandalay Bay Casino and Resort Hotel.  Myself and Curt (my roomate and subsequent co-host) managed to get one episode down for the radio show which is going to transmogrify into the historically epic Big Words One Man Mobile Unit episode 10 some time within the next few days.  I should have pictures up on Myspace by tomorrow night at the latest.  I was a very busy photog while I was out there.  Home again, home again, jiggety jig. 

     It’s good to be back.  I’m in the home stretch on the wedding and autumn is kicking in, which is traditionally a fantastic time of year for me, weather and otherwise.  In three weeks, we’ll be soaking up the sun at Myrtle Beach in South Carolina in the heart of the resort community for the honeymoon and hobnobbing on the Grand Strand during a competing Biker Week at the House of Blues among other things.  Hopefully I can get another podcast down during that, too.

     In classic Murphy’s Law fashion, ‘Our People’ (the rant about my new inlaws) ran in the Buffalo News My View section on Tuesday while I was out of town.  If anyone still has Tuesday’s copy of the Buffalo News, I would truly appreciate a copy of the print run. 

     Hennessey’s Bar and Grill on Broadway review ran this morning in the new issue of Gusto in the Buffalo News this morning.  Scoop it up if you’d like. 

     And finally, the first 20 copies of Breathing Room vol. I: Free Verse are en route via UPS as we speak.  The layout couldn’t look any more perfect.  Nick Peterson did a phenomenal job on the internal mechanisms for the book and I’m really excited about gearing up for the upcoming promotional junket!  If you’re interested in obtaining a signed copy of the book, contact me poste haste as there is a week delay in ordering/receiving more copies. 

     That’s all the news that’s fit to print for one day.  I’ll holler back on Monday for the routine update with any more developments.  Thank god I’m back in Buffalo.  Vegas is too crazy for me and there are too many opportunities for trouble out there, so it’s comforting to be back home.  Talk to you soon,

Tom Waters

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Sunday Newsletter Update: Radio Episodes 8.5 & 9 Up!

August 31, 2008

 

Yep,
    I wanted to write sooner.  I wanted to get the last episode up sooner, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Rich (my producer) had to go in for some medical tests and everything came up rosy.  If there’s one thing the two of us have in common, it’s our love for a holistic lifestyle.  Right.
    Life has just been insanely busy lately.  I’ve been wanting to write more comic reviews, but I haven’t had time.  A week and a half ago, I had a Gusto assignment at Hennessey’s Pub out in Alden.  Last Saturday was my bachelor party, which I decided to make a podcast out of.  That turned into episode 8.5 (since I spent more time partying than recording, it was only a half an hour).  On Sunday (amidst a shit storm of aggravation), I wrote three poems.  Then I got lost somewhere on the 279 and ended up sleeping in my car.  This is why I hate large highways. 
    On Monday (after explaining to my wife, her parents and a few other people that the ‘reports of my death were greatly exaggerated’), I met up with ArtVoice Managing Editor Geoff Kelly at Mulligan’s Brick Bar downtown to record on location.  We had a knockout show and for some reason on a Monday afternoon at a bar on Allen there were six people who were unfamiliar with the term ‘inside voices’.  The podcast turned out great regardless. 
    Tuesday was my night at Desi’s.  On Wednesday, I returned to Buff State to chime in and sit in to enjoy Lisa Forrest’s Rooftop Poetry Club get together.  It was therapy that was well needed.  Weds. night I had a quiet night in with the wife.  That was well needed too.
    Thursday I was at work all day for the most part.  Friday was more work and another quiet night in with the wife. 
    Yesterday I had an assignment for ArtVoice that I had to be vague about.  I’ll just say that if you’re a true Elton John fan, you might be familiar with a certain reverse psuedonym that’s going to be popping up soon in their pages. 
    Check out the podcasts, though.  You can find both over at:
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
Episode 8.5 Tag Line
 
Tom commemorates his bachelor party with the drunkest podcast yet, strange boobs in the face, Mighty Taco, and projectile vomiting.
 
Episode 9 Tag Line:    
    
Tom sits down and pounds out the magic with Buffalo Wonder Boy and ArtVoice’s Managing Editor in Chief Geoff Kelly. Mayhem ensues, stout is purchased on Jamie Moses’ corporate credit card.card.
 
    The two Breathing Room poetry books STILL aren’t done.  I am now a month over my personal deadline for them and the first volume had better be finished come next week or somebody is going to be in hot water.  My layout person is still working on them and I don’t understand how the pdf can be so difficult when I knocked out Clean Up After Me, I’m Irish in a weekend.  I guess we’ll see what next week brings.  Volume I should be ready for order by the second week of September.  I’ll be in Las Vegas that week for work. 
    I think that’s just about everything.  I’m about three weeks away from my wedding and the majority of my immediate families (and friends, for that matter) hate my guts or think I’ve lost my mind altogether or both.  These things will happen.  In September, the Buffalo News will be running an essay I wrote about my new in-laws in their ‘My View’ section.  That makes my second accepted submission for the year and they allow three per person, so I’ll have to whip something else up as soon as ‘Our People’ runs.   
     Things are really starting to come together career-wise.  Word of mouth on something or other (or perhaps ALL of it) is hitting the ground running and I’d like to think that the money should be around the corner.  Geoff Kelly and I were talking about career goals, aspirations and objectives on Monday and I told him my conclusion was that ultimately, I wanted to keep busy.  Writing is a compulsive therapy for me now.  It’s something I’m going to do no matter what.  I’m knocking on wood here, because every time I say something like that, I block up for eight to twelve months.  There’s still too much to be done.  And I don’t give a shit about recognition anymore, inclusion, or critical fanfare.  I want to make money.  I want to provide for my new three unit family.  I want to be able to leave my job in two to five years so that I can do this full time.  I’m ready.  The steps are in place.  All I have to do now is keep at it.
    I’ll drop you a line again when I have a chance.  Take care of yourselves, Big Words readers.  Seeya on the flip side.
 
    Tom Waters
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Monday Big Words Update! Week 91 on stands/Heaven’s To Megahertz! Episodes 7 & 8 Up Online Now!

August 19, 2008

A busy, bustling seven days.  Four podcast episodes for Think Twice in seven days.  A score of poems, a few rants, some networking, some marketing, some booking work on the Monsters Of Verse gigs…I don’t know where to begin!  Whelp, how about the beginning?

These Monday updates are supposed to be about the Night Life Big Words I Know By Heart column, so let’s get back to that.  Week 91 assaults the newstands today with the third and final installment (conclusion) to ‘Alia Iacta Est’, the serialized print version of the Buffalo Rising jihad.  I’m still not done with them by a long shot, but I thought that print readers might want to be in the loop and it’s a good venue for talking even more trash.  Night Life’s got my back through and through, which is why I’m so loyal to them.  

     Saturday night, Carrie and Ron Gardner came over to our posh Lancaster bungalow to record podcast episodes 7 and 8 of the Big Words Radio One Man Mobile Unit!  The reason why I waited so long to post the Monday update today was due in large part to the fact that I was waiting for Rich to post episodes 7 and 8.  I appreciate his efforts and due to a seperate studio booking yesterday, we were unable to ‘put the tracks down’ in their entirety yesterday, so there was a two day delay in posting them up online.

     Episode 7 is an informal interview with Carrie and her ‘man candy’ Ron Gardner regarding her career, Ron’s music, composing, poetry and a lot of other uncomfortable topics.

    Episode 8 is an informal ‘concert’ we held in my dust-caked hell hole of a basement with a PA system and the third member of the Monsters Of Verse, JR Finlayson.  We were all very pleased with the results.

     Dial both of the new episodes up on your Ipods at the intraweb address provided:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

     I’ll leave it at that.  Monday is supposed to be ‘date night’ with the wife and I’m cutting into it, so I’ll scoop you all with more of ‘the knowledge’ later in the week.  That’s all, folks!

Tom Waters

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Big Words Radio Episode 6: ‘The Monsters Of Verse’ Saddle Up!

August 14, 2008

     Believe it or not, once I got my hands on Think Twice’s Marantz portable digital recorder, I had to do another episode!  Jeff Finlayson, Carrie Gardner and myself have been discussing the concept of doing a few rehearsals so that we can work on our timing, our intonation, our delivery and our familiarity with our poems leading up to the paying gigs booked from October through May for our ‘Monsters Of Verse’ Algonquian thinktank promoting poetry, our books and the general belief that no one person should be more important than anyone else. 

     We’re really psyched about this ‘tour’, as it were, with a Screening Room gig in December, a Center For Inquiry Gig in May and a bunch of other spots I’d have to check my calendar to go over.   You’ll know more about it as the dates approach.  So last week, I approached a friend of mine about doing a series of secret shows at their restaurant on Tuesday nights when it was quiet.  Since he cancelled the notion after this first podcasted concert, I guess I can give up the ghost: it was Desiderio’s.  This saddens me, but if you listen to the show, you’ll find that it was a bit…intimate for a mass audience that wasn’t primed for the experience.  Carrie came down with a sore throat yesterday and couldn’t make it, so JR Finlayson and myself took to the stage along with Lindsay (who has volunteered as a backup reader in the event that depression takes me during the slated bookings). 

     I’m really proud of the show.  After the previous two, it’s inarguable that I was capable of pushing the envelope any further (comedically), so I decided to go in a different direction.  Think of this as a ‘very special’ episode of Big Words.  I’ve still got a few more plans in the works, but get yourself up to date over at:

http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html

     I just might have one more episode up my sleeve at week’s end but we’ll see where the week takes us.  I’m also very proud to announce that my entire SLATE of graphic novel reviews (the handful that Elena Buscarino at Buffalo Rising was too half-witted to publish on faith) have been gladly accepted over at Comicsbulletin.com.  You can read the latest post (‘Country Nurse’ by Jeff Lemire) at:

http://www.comicsbulletin.com/reviews/121864989018626.htm

    Busy busy.  By most reports from friends and loved ones lately, I need to slow down anyway, and to be honest, I hit the glass ceiling some time earlier this week and I’m starting to embark on a slow descent.  Everyone needs a rest some time, don’t they?  Whelp, it should be a nice downhill slide.

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Big Words Radio Episode III: Priceless! (or) ‘A Prostate Exam For Your Mind’

August 7, 2008
Cost Of A Bicycle Horn: $5
Cost Of Gas Transporting Insane and Heavily Sleep Depraved Radio Host: $3.50
Cost Of Medium Red Bull and 20 oz. Coca Cola Classic: $4
Cost Of 8 Pack, Guinness Stout: $12
Cost Of Friendship With Guest Co-Host Intentionally Bald Mike Due To Obvious and Brutal Homosexual References To His Personal Persuasion: $200
Cost Of Stomach Cramps Due To Pissing My Pants Listening To Show Two Times In A Row: $40
Cost Of Any Career Legs Up From Award Winner Alex Robinson: $4 Million
Cost Of Never Getting To Use Previously Mentioned Bicycle Horn Again Due To Giving Radio Producer ‘a headache’: $?
Cost Of Visit To Therapist Resulting In Sociopathic Comedic Freedom: $50 Co-Pay
 
Cost Of The Best Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Show Yet?
 
Priceless.
 
http://www.thinktwiceradio.com/tom-waters/tom-waters.html
 
Every single one of you NEEDS to listen to Episode III with Alex Robinson and guest co-host Mike Hilliard.  Thanks to Alex for being such a great sport, Hilliard for taking it sitting down over and over again (You LOVED it!), and to Richard Wicka for incurring a comedically-inspired migraine.  There is no way to describe this episode.  Treat yourself and then go back and listen to the other two if you haven’t caught them.  Slide whistles and bicycle horns.  The bicycle horn for the first and, indeed, final time.  Historic.  I’ll have to think of another prop next month in the studio for guest co-host gun-nut Brendan  and adult film star call in interviewee Brandy Dean.  Enjoy,
 
Tom Waters 
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I Am Legion, For We Are Many: (Yet Even) More Correspondance Re: Buffalo Rising’s Wacky Antics

August 6, 2008

Far be it from me to beat a dead horse, but my longstanding readers get off on this kind of thing.  Enclosed are a few more words of wisdom from first time emailers and longtime readers.  Christina (a tremendously succesful magazine editor/writer in the Buffalo pipeline) writes with:

Tom,

So sorry to hear about your treatment at Buffalo Rising.  That’s the problem with local papers: they forget they’re expecting you to give it away, that you’re doing them A FAVOR.  Now you’re supposed to put everything else aside and “rewrite endlessly” ’cause they can’t articulate clear guidelines from the outset?

You ARE a writer-to-kill-for, and we all deserve better treatment.  They’ll learn in time.

Christina continues in another email with:

Tom,

After reading all this, my afterthought: Inexperience!

Elena sounds like a beginner trying to feel/fake her way through.  I now suspect she doesn’t have a clue how to be an editor or manager, let alone how to do so efficiently and effectively, least of all diplomatically.  She also evidently has no experience, or even idea, of how to treat volunteers, let alone volunteers who’ve long ago paid their dues and could be spending their time on paid opportunities. 

And my own personal Deepthroat (the informer who brought Nixon down) has been supplying me with a steady stream of intel that may or may not be substantiated.  He/she has emailed me with a lot more info, but I seem to be unable to access my email account on BRO’s site.  Here are some snippets from what this out of towner has been feeding me.  I can neither confirm nor deny their allegations/accusations:

Oh, my password is ok but I can’t post any longer. Even after a little back and forth between myself and…”Precious”. But I will admit that your flameout on the boards will incur her wrath. Big Deal. Do check your profile and password on Twitter, much potential for mischief there but if you’re writing for the web and receiving payment, she would be an idiot to fuck with you like that considering the legal implications. (BTW:she’s an idiot) Also, I received word that Newell no longer owns BRO and was locked out of their offices recently, that he has some weird relationship to BRO as a figurehead but that he’s otherwise no longer The Man. Got no other proof for you. Either way, note that BR is perpetually on the cusp of going under and that several departures, Christa Seychew chief among them bode poorly for their continued existence. ( one of the reasons you were invited to post with them was the fact that they couldn’t afford any regular contributors and now rely on “community contributors” ) I hope they get bought out by someone with better taste in editors and enough dough to replace their 1920’s era server. Check your mail, I’ll have some tasty tidbits from Elena.

This individual was kind enough to send me ten or eleven great emails, but ignored my advice to send them to my fan address.  Again, PLEASE re-send to:

bigwordsmailbag@yahoo.com

A second email disclosed this:

Well, in a post last May, Elena actually said that she was a “harness child growing up in Chicago.” This was in the context of Mother’s Day reminisciences. The Newell thing was provided to me by none other than BuffaloPundit.  BTW, it was another Mother’s Day Post by Elena that got me whacked from BRO. Check it out, I said something about “Siciliane big hair” and I guess that was more than she could take. I didn’t even use my fallback line: “Che facia bruta!”. Thin skinned, that one.

Sicilian big hair!  That’s great! 

That’s all the muck that’s fit to rake for today.  I’ll be going to hash things out with my therapist this afternoon and then I’m off to Think Twice studios to wrap and upload the third historic podcast episode of Big Words Radio with Alex Robinson and my special guest co-host Michael Hilliard (or as Night Life bar review readers may remember him from back in the day, I.B.M. or Intentionally Bald Mike).  Expect to hear slide whistles, bicycle horns, Alex on maintaining a functional relationship/marriage when one or both parties have a creative bent, and, as always, your opening shot.  You won’t wanna miss this one.  I’m wound up and ready to let loose on everybody willing to listen!  The show should be up online by about ten pm eastern standard, so tune your dials in and click away at:

www.thinktwiceradio.com

Meanwhile, the word of mouth on Big Words radio has been through the goddamned roof.  One of my work contacts has been telling all the guys on his route that they’re going to piss their pants laughing if they give the show a chance.  That’s promotion you can’t buy. 

BRO would do well to earn that kind of word-of-mouth instead of pissing in every young-upstart freelancer that winds up at their virtual doorstep.  And that number is dwindling down to a narrow few contributors.  In a few more weeks, they’ll be left with just Queenseyes (Newell), Buffalo Rising (Newell/Elena) and Elena Buscarino for contributors.  I can see how it would be difficult to re-tool other people’s material if you’re placing the fastest publication on your own work first and writing three quarters of the publication.  Life’s a bitch, ain’t it? 

And the site hits continue to soar into the stratosphere on the BRO YourHub posts.  We’re in the neighborhood of 3 or 400 individual post hits total on the campaign and yes, Night Life did get the first installment of (Alia Iacta Est: ‘The Die Is Cast’) into the print magazine.  Suck on that, Buffalo Rising!  Suck it long and suck it hard!  The title refers to Ceasar’s legendary remark during one of Rome’s epic battles, so I found it suitable for a war with a crazy bitch from the ass of the boot, so to speak. 

This armageddon is just getting started.  I’m not done with you by a long shot, E.  I haven’t heard peep from either of them since last Wednesday and don’t expect to.  And in the mean time, I’ve got so many personal appointments, free drinks and luncheons to take with all of the reputable newspapermen and women in the WNY area that I’m going to have to burn the midnight oil to keep slinging this much mud.  Whelp, I’ll get more than five hours of sleep a night when I’m dead.  I’ll see Buffalo Rising buried first, though, and I’m holding the motherfucking shovel.  Cheers,

T.W.

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Monday Big Words Update! Week 88 on stands, ‘Editor’s Choice’?

July 29, 2008

     If all goes according to plan (which it hasn’t yet this month), ‘The Importance Of Being Neurotic’, my piece on the intrinsic value of psychotherapy, will hit stands in the pages of Night Life this week.  In the shuffle, I thought for some reason that it was running last week.  It didn’t.  ‘On Spec’ ran in the Big Words column instead.  Too much confusion.  All of this should be ironed out in time for next month, as I won’t be shuffling shows around like a game of, well, shuffleboard, going into August.

     The Pissed Off World Of Uncle Hal 60th episode has been postponed indefinitely.  Due to circumstances beyond both of our control, Hal is taking a break and sorting some other things out and I’ll leave it at that.  It pains me to see yet another friend going through a veritable monsoon of troubles that life is dishing out, but I’ll wait patiently on the sidelines and offer help when it’s asked for.  That’s all I can do at this point.  It’s been a tough summer for a lot of my friends, and it aggravates me that it has to happen all at once.  I’m sure there’s a soothing adage for all of this, but any advice eludes me for the time being.

     And finally, I’m not sure whether it’s a massive pyramid scheme of a scam right now, but I had two poems accepted on the notorious Poetry.com web site, ‘Poem For Lindsay’ and ‘On The Corner Of Average’.  The former (‘Poem For Lindsay’) was awarded with the partially prestigious ‘Poet’s Choice’ award.  Whether or not this carries any weight is beyond me, as these are circles I’m unfamiliar in traveling.  However, it’s always good to have more work up and around online.  You can view (and read) ‘Poem For Lindsay’ over on:

http://www.poetry.com/dotnet/P9003195/999/1/display.aspx

‘On The Corner Of Average’ can be found over at:

http://www.poetry.com/dotnet/P9003195/999/2/display.aspx

     This Wednesday, my celebrity interview with Uncle Hal had to be postponed, so in his place, I’ll be talking with Jay Desiderio from Desiderio’s on Broadway for the second installment of the Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour.  If you caught the first episode, you know that you’re not going to want to miss the second episode.  I’ve got a real corker of a rant (if you get the email newsletter, you just read it yesterday) for my opening shot, so grab a comfortable chair and a stiff drink and hop online later this week.   Tune on in late Wednesday night at:

www.thinktwiceradio.com

     That’s all the news that’s fit to print for one day.  Talk to you sooner than you think,

Tom Waters

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Not Ready To Make Nice!

July 23, 2008

     The good news is that I’ve finally got definitive proof that a)people are reading the Night Life Big Words print column and b)exotic dancers are indeed literate creatures. 

     If you read my earlier post on the site, you already know that Night Life accidentally ran my ‘Pharoah’s: 10, Madamoisselle’s: 5, Rick’s Tally Ho: Still 0 essay last week.  I really would have preferred that they didn’t, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk.

     Well I got on the horn today to speak with Christy about August’s slate of column submissions (since I accidentally re-sent ‘On Spec’), Dave Koestner told me about the can of worms that I opened up because of the Madamoisselle’s article.

     Apparently, the management at Alexander’s (an old haunt from my exotic club review days) in Tonawanda loved the column so much that they cut out three copies and posted them up on every wall in their club.  I guess ALL of the dancers were abuzz with talk about the article, which, while not antagonistic, was very tell-it-like-it-is about the rotten treatment myself and my guest got when we tried to get into Madam’s without paying a cover charge.

     I feel bad about the piece.  I truly do.  I also feel that if you say you’re going to do a favor for someone, then you damn well better do it.  It is what it is.  The damage is done and the die is cast.  Hopefully last week’s controversy (with Madam’s and BRO) is the last of it for awhile.  I’m a fat old man, and the energy and aggravation it requires to juggle so many quixotic quests wears on the soul. 

     On the other hand, though, I’m going back into Uncle Hal’s sunny Burbank studio this Friday afternoon to slap on my co-host hat and ring in his auspicious and milestone breaking 60th episode!  And you know that whenever the two of us meet up with a pair of microphones, someone’s feathers are going to get ruffled, if not everybody’s!  Wanna catch up on previous episodes?  Click over to:

www.powunclehal.com

     -and see what all the hub bub is about!  Episode 58 was a hoot and a half and I’m bringing the motherfucking heat this Friday!  Look for Episode 60 online (as well as Episode 2 of the Big Words I Know By Heart Radio Hour) towards the end of next week!

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